The Lenexicon

This might be my favorite "first" of all

2012-01-23T16:20:00.000-06:00

This morning I was saying goodbye to Milo before he headed off to daycare with Daddy and I headed off to work. Since I was showering while he ate breakfast, I hadn't seen him much. So I asked him for a big hug and a kiss, and while he indulged my hug, he only reluctantly gave me a kiss. When he reached out for Daddy, I handed him over and said, "Bye bye, Milo, I love you." And he said "I love you, Mommy, bye bye."

And I melted. I love that boy more than I can possibly describe.

He's 22 Months Old, So Don't Even Tell Me He's Almost Two. As If.

2012-01-22T19:55:00.001-06:00

Milo is 22 months old. For the first time, I missed taking his picture and posting his stats on the 21st of the month. And here I thought I might actually make it to the two-year mark before missing it by a day or two. Oh well, what can you do?

Milo is so fun. And funny. He makes silly faces and silly noises and sings and dances and beats on his chest like Tarzan. He makes me laugh every single day.

He is learning his letters, numbers, and colors. I'm surprised sometimes how many letters he can identify, especially hard ones like Q and W. He can count some, but he likes to start with 4 and count up to 9. Colors are still tricky, but he knows Daddy's car is black and Mommy's car is blue.

The kid loves fruit. Blueberries, grapes, oranges, bananas, apples, raisins (does that count as a fruit?), pears, kiwi. He also loves eggs, cheese, peas, corn, french fries, pizza, juice, milk, peanut butter, and occasionally cookies or ice cream. Sometimes he refuses dessert, which is fine by me.

Opinions. He has them.

He's speaking in longer sentences. A common one right now is "Oo dat soun, Mommy?" which translates to "What's that sound, Mommy?" He hears things I don't, and is constantly asking what made the sound. Often it's a train or airplane, sometimes it's something like Daddy shutting a door, where I have to rewind my subconscious to see if I even know what the sound was. Milo's vocabulary is huge, or it seems huge to me. I really have no idea how he stacks up to the average 22-month-old, but he sure impresses me.

We've been putting him in time out this month. He is always pushing the limits and seeing how we'll react when he does the opposite of what we ask him to do. So we're trying to set boundaries and be consistent. Time-outs may or may not be working. Sometimes he seems very upset to be going to time out, other times he casually walks over to the time-out spot and just chills until we tell him he can get up, like it's no big thing. Hoping to cut back on bad behavior, like...throwing food. Smacking Mommy and Daddy. Refusing to pick up toys. Dropping his cup or fork on the floor. Banging on the table. Refusing to do X, Y, or Z -- anything we ask him to do, really. None of his behaviors are that bad, the bad part is that he directly doesn't obey when we ask him to do/not do something. And I think we're supposed to be in control, somehow. I think.

He loves books and loves storytime before bed. Lately we've been reading a couple books about a new baby in the house. I still have no idea how much of it is sinking in, the whole new baby thing. We'll find out soon enough, I guess.

Milo's daycare situation is wonderful. He's been at Kristin's for about five months now, and he hasn't really been sick at all. Maybe one cold and a potential ear infection or two that we've fought off with drops before it got started. He knows all the kids there, he enjoys the crafts, and it's just been a good place for him. His teacher says he's pretty quiet there, which kind of surprises me. He's constantly babbling at home. Maybe he's just more of an observer and keeps his thoughts to himself. He seems happy there, though, and that's what matters most.

Hello again

2012-01-16T14:52:00.000-06:00

How about a few little updates and ramblings?

I'm 37 weeks and a few days pregnant. At my doctor's appointment this morning, I was 3 cm dilated and 50 percent effaced. If I were to check my archives, I'm pretty sure I'd find that this was how much I had progressed a couple days before going into labor the first time. Therefore, I'm convinced the baby is on her way. My doctor was quick to say I could stay this way for another few weeks, but I just don't think that will be the case. We'll see. I could just be doing some wishful thinking. Which brings me to my next point...
I'm. So. Completely. Over. Being. Pregnant. I'm having trouble sleeping. It's either heartburn, plain ol' insomnia, or too much kicking from the baby. On a really good night, it's a combo of all three. I waddle when I walk, my feet are swollen, and the simplest tasks are becoming impossible. Drying off after a shower, for instance, or removing my own boots at the end of the day. Forget it.
While I desperately want the baby out of my body, I'm having a ton of probably misplaced guilt over wrecking Milo's life. Why am I doing this to him, shaking his world and asking him to suddenly grow up and be a big boy? He should get to stay a baby as long as he needs to.
The nursery is still not quite finished, though we're getting close. I hemmed the curtains this weekend, and they actually look really good. Nice straight seams and everything. I'm getting better at this sewing thing. Frames still need to be hung, closet still needs to be organized, and cloth diapers need to be re-washed and organized. And the crib still needs to be put together, but I'm delaying that as long as possible so Milo won't remember it as being his.
Milo loves playing in Sissy's room. That may have something to do with the step ladder that's been in there the last couple weeks. He climbs up, he climbs down, he climbs up, he climbs down. Repeat.
I wonder how much Milo is understanding about his impending status as big brother. We've been reading books on it and talking about it all the time, but you know. He's not even two yet.
We've been working on our bedroom remodel, and it's sort of on hold. My father-in-law can't hang trim for another few weeks at the earliest, so the room is in this semi-done state that is driving me crazy. If anyone knows how to hang trim and wants to dedicate a weekend to our cause, let me know.

Wrapping Up: My 2011 Resolutions

2012-01-06T09:22:00.000-06:00

I wrote a post about a couple of New Year's resolutions I was (reluctantly) making almost exactly one year ago. And now that 2011 is over, I thought I'd follow up on those resolutions and let you know how it all turned out.

I hate New Year's resolutions. But this year, I actually have a couple of them. And in order to help keep me accountable, I will share them here with you.
In typical New-Year's-resolution fashion, I want to lose weight. (More weight, that is, on top of the 40 pounds I've already lost since Milo was born.) Twelve pounds, to be exact. This will get me back to my college/living-in-New-York/wedding weight. And I will be satisfied with this weight.
I want to decorate our bedroom. I absolutely hate it right now, and I have lots of ideas to decorate it. Unfortunately, these decorating plans of mine all cost money. But this is the year I no longer want to just live with the room I hate. I want to make it a place I love to be, rather than just a place I sleep in. I'm thinking navy, light gray, butter yellow, and crisp white...

Well. Let's start with #1, shall we? If memory serves me correctly, I lost maybe five more pounds after that, then sort of plateaued for three or four months. Then I went and got myself pregnant. And in typical pregnant fashion, I then proceeded to gain 40 pounds (and counting). Maybe this weight loss goal will have to go back on the 2012 resolution list.

As for #2, I began to make some headway on this goal throughout the year by buying things like a new duvet, new side tables, accessories, switching out our dresser for Milo's old one, and generally filling up the room with things that would be used someday. Then the room finally, finally got painted about two weeks before Christmas. And that's where we're at. An almost completely painted room (still a couple of places that got patched that need to be painted) that needs the new trim hung, puttied, caulked, and touched up with paint. Then we'll be in business. I'm hoping by summer this room will be complete. But as for a 2011 resolution? FAIL. I blame it on that whole pregnancy sick-for-two-trimesters thing. Definitely not just laziness.

Unprompted

2012-01-05T20:35:00.000-06:00

Tonight at dinner, Milo was hardly touching his food, as he is likely to do these days. Because I wanted him to eat something, I gave him a few dried cherries. Then, without any kind of urging, he said, "Thank you, Mommy." Isn't he just the nicest boy who ever lived?

The Big-Kid Bed

2011-12-26T20:55:00.001-06:00

That whole big-kid bed thing? Exhausting. Let me tell you how our first night went.

It started out okay. I read to Milo like usual, then snuggled him like usual, then laid him down in his big enormous bed. He actually was pretty good about it. He laid down without a fuss and went to sleep like normal. I was a little emotional, and before I went to bed I peeked in on him, just to watch him sleep in such a huge bed for the first time. And all was well until about 4:00am, when I awoke to the sound of my frantic child screaming his damn head off.

He had fallen off the bed and wedged himself, head down, between the mattress and the dresser. He was stuck and couldn't right himself. It was all pretty much over after that. Even after being rescued, pacified, and diaper-freshened, he couldn't calm down. I went in and sat with him and tried to convince him to lay back down and go to sleep. He either wanted to jump on the bed or flip out and cry. After ten minutes of this, I did get him to lay down, so I quickly made my exit. But half an hour later, he was awake (again or still, I'm not sure). Upset again, it looked like he needed a little extra comfort. And since it was his first night without the crib, I indulged him and sat down next to him.

For awhile, he refused to lay down and calm down. He just kept sitting up, staring off into the ceiling and saying "ghost! ghost!" in a worried voice. I gotta say, he was kind of freaking me out with the ghost thing. And he was not seeming tired at all. After awhile, I was ready to give up. I figured maybe if I wasn't there, he would have no one to entertain or be entertained by and might lay down and go to sleep. I told him that it wasn't time to wake up yet, so Mommy was going to go back to bed and he could lay down when he was ready.

He freaked out, saying "No, Mommy!" and flung himself on top of me. So I hugged him and rubbed his back, and literally 30 seconds later he was out, snoring in my ear. I held him like that for about five minutes, but he was sort of on my throat and I had to move him. I shifted him over so he was laying on the bed, which of course woke him up and we were back to freaked-out Milo. I pulled him back toward me and snuggled him close, and again he fell asleep immediately. So this is it, I thought. I'm here for the rest of the night. I had his teeny blanket over my feet and an even teenier blanket sort of over my shoulder, but I was freezing. Milo got about another hour, maybe hour and a half, of sleep, but I pretty much barely dozed.

I have to say, though, I enjoyed cuddling with Milo like that. He hasn't actually fallen asleep on me since he was much, much younger. It felt good to be the only thing that would comfort him.

And of course in the morning we praised him for being such a big boy and told him how proud we were that he slept in his big-kid bed. We're hoping the positive reinforcement will go a long way. Night 2 was tougher, he didn't want to lay down at all, then woke up way too early and couldn't go back to sleep. And naptimes have been...short. Tonight is night 3, and he laid down without a fuss. Crossing my fingers that he sleeps straight through the night without incident. We're all way too tired for the 4am wake-up call.

I don't want him to grow up.

2011-12-23T20:18:00.001-06:00

I just laid Milo down in his crib for the very last time. Then I cried big fat tears. Tomorrow night Milo is moving to his big-kid bed, a twin mattress on the floor. And I am not liking seeing my baby grow up. Right this second, picturing him laying there in his crib tonight, I'm tearing up again. He's getting so big, but he's still so small. He's still my baby, even though I keep telling him what a big boy he is. I wonder if seeing him tomorrow night in his enormous bed will make me believe it.

Belly Update

2011-12-22T11:34:00.001-06:00

Here's me at 33 weeks, 2 days, wearing one of the few shirts that easily covers my entire belly. Can someone please explain to me why MATERNITY CLOTHES quit fitting at around 30 weeks?

Milo's 21-Month Update

2011-12-21T20:40:00.000-06:00

Wow, this monthly update caught me by surprise. How can it be the 21st already? Didn't I just write one of these updates?

What is Milo up to these days? He's huge, for one. Likely still hovering around 30-32 pounds, and getting taller all the time. He is maybe half an inch from bonking his head on the underside of our kitchen counter. I dread the day he first stands up under the counter and hits his head. Hard. There will be much howling and shedding of tears.

Physically, Milo is active. He runs, he jumps, he climbs. Sometimes he seems to push himself to see just what he can do. The other day he was leaning on the coffee table, then decided to put his feet up on the couch. So his feet on the couch, his hands on the coffee table, he pushed himself up into a pyramid. Made me nervous. Did not want to see him slip and bang his entire face on the table.

Speaking of that, Milo almost always has a bruise somewhere. He is currently sporting a large bruise just under his eyebrow, another on his cheek, some scratches along his jawline, and a large bruise on his forearm. I only know of the origins of one of these battle scars.

Milo is getting pretty good at testing the limits. He knows he should not get near the fireplace when it is hot, but he'll just barely perch on the edge of the hearth, then look at me slyly, wondering if I'm going to tell him no. It's really time for me and Andrew to figure out our plan for disciplining, as reminding him over and over again what is against the rules is not really getting us anywhere. Milo is a good kid, and he generally doesn't keep trying to do the misbehavior when we tell him to stop, but it's that five or ten minutes later he's doing it again that is problematic. I'm afraid he's just going to be running over us before long if we don't learn how to reinforce the rules (of which there are not many, really).

Milo loves music. He is always asking for a song. Whining for a song, really. He is especially entranced by the musical tabletop Christmas tree decoration we have, and will demand "more song" over and over. And every time we say "Ask nicely, Milo. What do you say?" and he frantically slaps at his chest, giving the sign for please. Man, he loves that tree. He also loves dancing, and does this awesome dance where he madly swings his arms, kind of twisting around and bouncing. The other day he was exuberantly clapping when a song came on, and he accidentally whacked me in the face.

He seems to have really picked up on the concept of Santa Claus in the last couple of weeks. "An Cwaus," he says, "oh, oh, oh." He recognizes reindeer. He thoroughly enjoys listening to the book Grandma and Grandpa recorded for him last year, Hallmark's "The Night Before Christmas" Recordable Storybook. At the end he waves to Santa and says "Byebye An Cwaus."

Language continues to get better and better. Pronunciation is better, he is always using new words or new phrases. He has started saying "uh-oh, spaghetti o's," though it sounds more like "uh-oh, etti o's." He uses adjectives all the time and is figuring out how to describe objects. He crosses his arms and says "Brrrr, cold," and shivers. He has trouble getting all the sounds or syllables in when he's trying to say something with a lot of them. Snowman becomes no-man. Dinosaur is dine-saur. Bathtub is Ath-tub His r's often sound like w's. Twuck. Twee. He makes animal sounds out of nowhere and has started panting like a puppy. He's utterly charming.

He still likes to give my belly kisses. Not sure how much he knows about the upcoming baby. He has repeated her name, but can't tell you what it is if you ask (so don't even try!). We're moving Milo to his big boy bed, a twin mattress on the floor, in just a couple days. I have no idea how he's going to do with this. We've been reading a lot about how Elmo went from a crib to a big kids' bed, so I hope that's helping prepare him.

He has peed on the potty about three times. We always give him an opportunity to sit on the potty before he gets in the bathtub, and so far those three times have been purely accidental. But we make a big freaking deal about how great it was that he did that and how big he's getting and all that, and this last time he actually clapped along with Daddy and seemed to soak up the praise. And he occasionally comments out of the blue, "peepee," and sort of touches his pants, and we're pretty sure that he knows he just peed. All good steps toward potty training, I think, though it's still a ways off realistically.

Milo is definitely getting to be a little toddler with his own opinions. He equally charms and frustrates me on a daily basis. Sometimes I have absolutely no idea what to do with him, and I think, really? We're really about to have another and I haven't even figured out the first one yet? But I suppose I'll never figure it out. He's always going to be throwing another curve ball at me. And that's just fine by me.

I should get out more, if this is all I have to talk about.

2011-12-14T09:30:00.000-06:00

This morning Milo took a shower with Daddy, then, just like every time he showers with Daddy, he ran around naked until Andrew got dressed. Except this morning was not like every other time. This time Milo came into the bedroom (where I was still in bed), played with the buttons on my alarm clock, then squatted, grunted, and pooped on the floor. Then he stepped on the poop.

Andrew scooped up Milo and took him into the other room to get cleaned up and diapered. I cleaned the poop from the carpet. And after it was all over with, my only thought was, "Huh, I really should've taken a picture of the poop before picking it up." Ah, parenthood.

Crazy!

2011-12-07T12:51:00.001-06:00

Oh my, are these hormones making me crazy today! I have cried at no fewer than four blog posts, and I'm just a big pile of sap.

Plus, I desperately want to organize our pantry, but every evening I lack the energy to do much more than try to find a position on the couch where my back doesn't hurt. I guess my nesting instinct isn't quite strong enough yet for me to get motivated to actually do any pantry organizing. How many weeks along do you suppose I need to be for that? It better kick in soon, because my balance is already shot to hell, and organizing the pantry involves a lot of stooping and standing and reaching way into the back to grab (and discard) the years-old lentils that are still hanging around for some unknown reason. But the pantry must get organized soon. I have cookies to bake, and I need to know just how much brown sugar we have.

How about sticking to onesies, then?

2011-11-29T12:33:00.001-06:00

This morning Milo came over to me, frantically waving his hand toward me and making the best sounds he could to get my attention. "What is it, Sweetie?" I asked him.

Upon closer inspection, I saw that he had poop all over his hand. And he did not like it one little bit.

He had apparently reached down into his pants post-poop for reasons I do not really understand, and gotten the goods all over his hand. And part of his shirt.

So yeah, that happened. At least he didn't fingerpaint all over the walls with his own feces or anything. And while I'm not naive enough to think this will be the last time my son grabs a handful of his own poop, I hope we don't repeat this often.

Milo's First Hand Turkey

2011-11-28T19:21:00.000-06:00

It's fancy, too, with paint and everything. It's a good thing we send Milo to daycare. My art projects with him would not be nearly so ambitious.

29 Weeks 3 Days Pregnant

2011-11-23T11:12:00.001-06:00

Another belly shot. About three pounds of baby in there, and my back is starting to feel it.

Milo's First Haircut

2011-11-22T09:30:00.000-06:00

Just one day before he turned 20 months old, Milo finally got his first haircut. And honestly, he barely needed it. He just had this shaggy rat-tail/mullet thing going on in the back that had to be taken care of. Getting a first haircut is one of those traditional firsts for babies/toddlers. You take photos, you save a lock of that baby-fine hair. And then you marvel at how grown up your baby looks.

Also, if you're me, you turn into a big ball of sappy sobbing mush on the way to the haircut. It just made me so sad, to think that my baby was suddenly not going to look like my baby anymore (spoiler alert: he still totally looked like my baby afterward). And the more firsts Milo experiences, the fewer there are left. And when all the firsts are over, what then? He'll just be a big kid, and my first baby will be gone. The whole thing made me a little emotional.

But the actual haircutting experience was wonderful. We went to Sugar & Spice, a kids-only salon, and it was incredible. Little cars for the kids to sit in, TVs to watch during the cut, and lots of toys and things around to play with before and after. I definitely recommend this place, even though paying that much for a kid's haircut seems sort of ridiculous. And yet, I will totally go back when Milo needs his next haircut, probably sometime in 2013.

Enough talk. Time for photos.

Digging the car.

Before.

Mesmerized by the television.

I'll miss that crazy baby hair.

He sat completely still for the entire haircut. Gripped the steering wheel and stared at the TV. We didn't even have to break out the Cheerios.

Watching Daddy in the mirror.

Clearly pleased with his new style.

Saying "cheese!" Pretty cute, for a not-quite-in-focus photo.

20 Months

2011-11-20T20:57:00.001-06:00

Ahhh, 20 months old. I feel like two years is creeping up on us way too fast. I'm not the mom of a baby anymore, I'm the mom of a little boy. At least for another couple months. Then I'll be the mom of both. And don't even get me started on THAT.

Let's see, where to start? How about with the news that Milo got his very first haircut yesterday? I won't go into details, full story and photos to come shortly, but I will say that I can't believe my hairless baby needed a haircut. They grow up so fast, don't they?

Anyway. Let's talk affection. Milo has taken to kissing my belly and saying "mwah." He's kissing the baby, and it's pretty damn cute. At least it's cute until he winds up basically wiping his nose on my shirt. That's kind of gross. Milo also will give me kisses sometimes when I ask for them, and occasionally just out of the blue. Those surprise kisses are my favorite. He gives excellent hugs, but not typically when asked for a hug. Everything has to be on Milo's terms these days.

Which leads me to temperament. Milo certainly has a mind of his own and wants to make his own decisions. When we're about to go upstairs, he'll turn to me and with arms outstretched, say "Up!" When I say, "Can you say 'please,' Milo?" He'll consider it, then turn around and start to climb the stairs on his own. He'd rather just climb up than say please because he was asked to. However, he will say please—only in sign language—for many things, like a drink of water or more snacks. He doesn't say "thank you" unprompted, but will when asked to say it (most of the time).

Milo has taken to calling everything "mine." My water, my milk, my coat, my socks. He'll screech, "Miiiiinnnne!" if he thinks his property is being threatened. I have a feeling this trait is going to get old really fast over the next couple of months.

One interesting characteristic that has really started to come out in Milo is his fear/dislike of being in trouble or being reprimanded. He doesn't often do things that make us really use our stern voices, but when we do speak sternly to him, he just can't take it. His whole face shows sadness and worry, and he starts bawling. It's obvious that he needs reassurance that we still love him and that he's not bad. It takes him probably five minutes, which is an eternity in toddlerland, to get over it and go back to being happy. And it isn't like we put him in timeout or spank him or yell at him or anything. It's just, you know, using a little firmer tone of voice to explain that what's he's doing is not okay and he should listen to Mommy and Daddy. I think that Andrew and I were both like this as kids, this thing about not wanting to be in trouble. It might make disciplining Milo a relatively easy thing over the long haul. (knock on wood)

Language: more and more two-word phrases, occasionally a three-worder. Lots and lots of lengthy strings of babbling that I just know in his mind is perfectly clear sentences. Unfortunately I can't understand any of it, which can get frustrating for him sometimes. He's started using alternate words for things, like instead of "yes" he'll say "uh-huh" or "mm-hmmm." He learned that turkeys say "gobblegobblegobble" and his little high-pitched voice gobbling is adorable.

Milo still loves coloring, and he wants us to write "M" all the time. He knows star, circle, R, M, triangle, and square. If you ask him what color it is, everything is green.

He loves listening to music, hearing me and Daddy sing, and dancing. He swings his arms back and forth, sort of bends forward, and stomps his feet. He's an awesome dancer.

Current favorite books are: When Dinosaurs Came With Everything, aka "Dinesoar;" If You Give a Pig a Party, aka "Oink;" The Little Mouse, The Red Ripe Strawberry, and The Big Hungry Bear, aka "Mouse," and No David, aka "David." There are a few others in rotation, including Elmo's bedtime book and this mediocre ladybug book, but those first few are read every single night by yours truly. Sometimes I hate the monotony of reading the same thing every night, but other times I love the predictability of it all. Milo always says "oh no!" when we learn that the big hungry bear especially likes strawberries that have just been picked. I love that when we get to the page with the T. rex Milo roars and that Milo always giggles when we see the strawberry wearing those silly glasses with the nose and mustache attached, or when we read the last page of No David Milo always wants a hug. I'm sure next month we'll be on to something new, and then I'll be nostalgic for all our current reading routines and traditions.

Milo can reach doorknobs but he can't turn them. He sits on the potty every night before bath and has actually gone peepee in it twice. Both times surprised him. He loves peas and will eat them before touching anything else on his plate. He loves to jump. He loves wrestling with Daddy. He likes to sit on the couch and snuggle next to me and pull a blanket over his lap. He loves his paci but sometimes we make it through all of story time without it. He loves wearing his hat. Putting non-hats on his head and calling them hats is still funny. He learned how to say "cheese" when someone wants to take his picture. He always tries to eat with his fork or spoon before giving up and using his hands. He's getting tall and lean, but he still has his round baby cheeks and his inverted knuckles. He's okay with holding hands now to cross the street or go up or down stairs or sometimes just to walk around.

He doesn't say the words, but I know he loves me. I know because of the way he says "Mommy!" and smiles when he sees me. I know because of the way he blows me kisses when we say goodbye. I know because of the way he lays his head on my shoulder right before bed. I know because of the way he leans on my shoulder and holds onto my hand while I'm reading to him each night, sometimes rubbing my hand with his thumb. And I love him too. More than he will ever possibly know.

Milo's Second Halloween

2011-11-17T19:49:00.000-06:00

So now that Thanksgiving is just a week away, I thought it was time to post some Halloween photos. Some are from Milo's daycare Halloween party/trick-or-treating extravaganza, a few are from our post-dinner attempt to trick-or-treat. But sadly, we forgot to take the camera to the daycare party, so we missed most of the early action. The shots we do have were taken after the group came to our house to trick-or-treat and we were able to grab the camera. By that point, Milo was about done with the whole thing, if he was ever into it, that is. Not sure he really grasped the concept of trick-or-treating, and he didn't like following the other kids around to different places in the backyard for some reason he couldn't figure out. And I'm pretty sure he must have been roasting in his fleecy costume. The sun was out and it was quite warm that afternoon. All that said, it was pretty fun to see Milo in his adorable little bumblebee costume holding his little pumpkin treat bucket.

What the heck is going on? And why am I holding this bucket?

At least you're not making me wear the hood.

Are we done yet?

I do like this little green cup. Cups are fun for sure.

Look, flowers! Bees love flowers!

But I don't want to smell the flowers again just so you can try to take a picture this time. You should have taken the picture the first time I smelled the flowers.

Look, Daddy, nunchucks!

What? You're supposed to unwrap it first? Nonsense.

My first (and possibly only) taste of Halloween candy. Mmmmm.

First Glimpse of Sissy

2011-11-09T20:37:00.002-06:00

We had a 3D sonogram last Saturday. My takeaway: Sissy's eyes and nose look like Milo, but her mouth belongs only to her. We had trouble getting really clear images because 1) she had her arm blocking her face for much of the session and 2) her face was pressed up against the wall of the uterus, making it difficult for the machine to do its thing. A few of the best pics below, with a couple of Milo for comparison.

All curled up.

Look at her big lips!

Looks like she has chubby cheeks already, at only two-ish pounds.

Remember a couple of years ago, when Milo flipped us off in utero? Sissy is following right in her brother's footsteps.

Ahh, yes, here it is: Milo giving us the finger, with a smirk and everything.

My sweet boy.

Look what I did

2011-11-02T21:39:00.001-05:00

There's just something about pregnancy that makes me want to change my hairstyle. So I did. It's a good fall/winter look, don't you think?

Milo is 19 months old!

2011-10-21T20:51:00.000-05:00

Can you even believe another month has gone by? Milo is nineteen months old and amazing beyond his years.

His vocabulary is, once again, growing by the second. I no longer could even begin to try to recall all the words he knows. Many, many animals and their sounds have been identified. Many machines and their sounds have been identified. He knows words for more abstract concepts, like "mess" and "hot" and not just the words for tangible things. He strings words together, two-words sentences for the time being. He is really and truly communicating with us, and it all at once makes things easier and more complicated.

He has taken an interest in coloring. He prefers pens, though markers or crayons or highlighters will do. He scribbles, switching the pen from right hand to left. He holds it the proper way—not grabby with his entire first, but more like an adult would. Sometimes even daintily, letting his pinky hover in the air. He especially loves it when we guide his hand and draw something. "M-I-L-O," I help him write. "Miyo!" he responds. "D-A-D-D-Y," I help him write. "Miyo!" he responds.

He loves seeing himself in the mirror and proudly identifies himself as Milo.

He likes washing his hands, turning the lights on and off, playing outside, riding his tractor, and jumping on Mommy and Daddy's bed.

He does not like wearing socks without also wearing shoes, putting on his coat, having a sore rashy bottom, or being told "no."

Milo likes dancing and bobbing his head to the beat (or almost to the beat) when he hears music or singing. He smiles when I sing the ABCs to him, but won't sing with me.

He'll say please and thank-you when prompted, but reluctantly. I think he'll only say please when he really really wants something. And typically that something is a grape.

Andrew and I have become slightly less paranoid when it comes to fearing that Milo will choke any second. We no longer cut his grapes in half and we trust him to eat string cheese without assistance. I still have my doubts about dried fruit, but I see that he eats that at daycare sometimes. Not on my watch, though.

Favorite foods haven't changed much in the last month. Eggs, cheese, and grapes top the chart. Fruit in general is a big hit. He's good with a fork, and I hardly ever worry that he's about to stab himself in the eye anymore.

Milo loves trucks, planes, and tractors. He likes robots, or "bobots," as he calls them, and he and Daddy have a weird routine where they take turns giving a kiss to the robot on the flashcard.

He's a good sleeper, goes to bed without a fuss and sleeps from about 7:45pm to about 6:15am. We typically don't hear a peep from him during the night, though lately he's soaked through his diaper and woken up wet and fussy—and I can hardly blame him for a little whining when he's trying to sleep in wet pajamas.

The best thing of all to happen in the last month is that Milo's Daddy-only phase is over. Or sort of over, anyway. Milo now occasionally wants me over other people. And when he reaches for me, because no one but Mommy will do, I love it. There is no better feeling in the world.

Mama called the doctor...

2011-10-18T13:25:00.001-05:00

I had an OB check-up this morning. All is well with Sissy. She had the hiccups when I listened to her heartbeat. After the appointment, I scheduled my next nine appointments. In other words, I am now scheduled all the way to my due date. For some reason, this makes it all seem like it's happening very quickly. And I am not ready.

There are a million things on my to-do list and I don't know when I'm going to do any of them. I spend every weekend just trying to see Milo and do fun things with him and Andrew. There is no time to design a nursery or organize the onesies and burp cloths. We're only three and a half months away from actually having a baby and I'm pretty sure I need at least six months to get ready. Not good math.

First Sentences

2011-10-17T11:56:00.000-05:00

Milo has begun stringing words together now. So far we've heard three, maaaayyyybe four, sentences. He said "Light off" when Andrew turned the lights off. He has also said "No, Mommy" and "No, Daddy." Somehow I don't think that will be the last time I hear "No, Mommy."

The possible fourth sentence was just this morning, and I don't really believe it happened. Andrew asked him, "Where do your shoes go?" and I swear it sounded like Milo said "On your feet." But he can't put three words together like that yet, can he??

It's so fun to see him start to really communicate with us. Man, I love that guy.

The Belly Expansion Project

2011-10-05T09:31:00.001-05:00

Please ignore the pile of toys etc. on the floor behind me.

22 Weeks, 3 Days

Dog Days Are Over

2011-09-30T10:00:00.001-05:00

Today was the first day I dropped Milo off at his (relatively) new daycare and the dog didn't growl at me. Six weeks in, and I guess she finally knows who I am. That makes it official—we have settled into our new routine. Even the dog knows it. I call that progress.

Crazy or Dedicated?

2011-09-29T13:17:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I started back up with my weekly personal training sessions. I quit going when the "morning" sickness kicked my ass for the entire summer. But, you know, since I hadn't thrown up in a week, I thought it was high time to start exercising again.

When I got there, my (male) trainer said, "Looks like you've got a little belly there." Yes. Yes, I do. It tends to grow with pregnancy.

Working out was way harder than I expected. I'm not sure if it was extra tough because I haven't lifted any weight (other than the constant lifting of my nearly 30-pound toddler) in a few months or because I'm pregnant. Or both, probably. But it was not easy. I couldn't (and didn't want to) lift nearly as much weight as I was before. I got out of breath quickly. My lower back felt strained at times, causing me to pull back even more. My pesky round ligament pain held me back, too.

But I did it.

And even though this morning my lower back and round ligament are aching more than normal, I'll be back next week for more ~~torture~~ exercise.

The Gender Reveal Party

2011-09-25T15:11:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we hosted a gender reveal party for our friends and family to share the news of Future Baby's sex. The party was a great success. Gorgeous weather meant our deck (and new patio furniture) were open for business. The food was a hit, the kids loved playing with Milo's toys, and our reveal moment had the perfect amount of suspense. My video hangout with long-distance friends and family even went smoothly. Overall, I'd say a good time was had by all.
To reveal the sex, we went old school with a science-project volcano. Except our volcano came out of a wine bottle. In addition to the baking soda, we added Koolaid mix in order to get the color (mixed ahead of time, of course, so as not to give away the surprise). Everyone gathered around, and I poured in the vinegar. It took a few seconds to react, then—an eruption of pink!
Everyone cheered. It was such an exciting perfect moment. We're having a girl! Amazing. And now that the party's over, it really is sinking in. It's gonna happen—Milo is going to have a baby sister and I'm going to have a daughter. Wow. Can't wait to meet you, Future Baby Girl!

The Post In Which the Gender Is Revealed!

2011-09-24T17:00:00.000-05:00

It's a girl!

Another belly pic

2011-09-22T08:06:00.000-05:00

Are you sick of these belly pics yet? Don't answer that. Here's me at 20 weeks. (Halfway! Woo!)

The 18-Month Stats

2011-09-21T20:02:00.000-05:00

Milo is 18 months old. A year and a half! Just over four months away from becoming a big brother. He’s such a little boy, with only traces of baby remaining.

Weight: 28 lbs., 9 oz. (80th percentile)
Height: 32 1/4 in. (50th percentile)
Head Circumference: 19 1/4 in. (80th percentile)

Favorite words include outside, yellow, no, and up (as in, “Pick me up now, woman!”). He knows many, many more words: paci, hat, button, doggie, Zadie, spoon, fork, potty, bump, TV, truck, neck, book, robot, grape, peas, oh no, what’s this?, “Dog Go,” “La La La” (can you guess what two books are making the rounds in our house?), milk, etc. etc. etc.
Favorite books: Go, Dog, Go; Moo, Baa, La La La; Hand, Hand, Fingers, Thumb; Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed; and occasionally Goodnight Moon.

Favorite things to play with: Milo is into toy cars, balls, two splatter screens from the kitchen drawer, flash cards, and our cat.

Milo made up a new game the other day that Andrew and I think is hilarious. He put a pea on top of his head and said “hat.” Of course we laughed, and he kept putting more peas on his head, saying “hat, hat.” This led to other hats, including yogurt and peanut butter toast. Messy, but adorable.

The boy cannot get enough of being outside. Immediately after dinner (or before, or during) he starts whining "ow-side, ow-side!" and goes to the back door and just waits there.

He's quick to throw a mini-tantrum, like if he wants to go outside but does NOT want to put his shoes on, he'll cry and carry on for awhile until distracted by something else.

He refuses to let me kiss him. Sometimes he smiles and turns away, and it's kind of cute. Other times he screams at me, "Mahmee, Mahmee, no, nooooo!" and pushes away with all his might. Sad.

Milo generally likes food, especially breakfast foods, but he sometimes just refuses to even try something. Often if we can convince/trick him into taking a bite, he'll eat with gusto. But if our usual tricks aren't working, forget it. Grapes for dinner it is.

Milo can walk backward, run (sort of), bounce and almost-sort-of jump, spin in a circle, and go up and down stairs fairly easily (crawling or scooting).

Milo has taken a liking to stuffed animals, though they're not really loveys. He just likes to cuddle with them during story time and in his crib.

Every animal says "moo" and everything is the color yellow, according to Milo.

He can reach too many things all of a sudden. Drawers that he never paid attention to before are now opened and their (hopefully safe) contents strewn about. Things on the edge of the table or counter are pulled down. He OPENED THE OVEN DOOR, which seems particularly dangerous to me. I have no clue how to completely baby-proof the house. This kid is just too crafty!

Things at the new daycare are going great. Today was Milo's check-up, and Kristin (Milo's caretaker/teacher) had him up and ready to go and a snack all packed to take along to the doctor's. At the old daycare, we would have been lucky if Milo was in the room we expected to find him in, forget being in a clean diaper, awake, or with snack in hand.

Life is good right now. Milo generally sleeps well, he is currently without rash (though to keep him that way, he has to be in disposable diapers with loads of desitin, so goodbye cloth diaper dreams), he's smart and funny and adorable, and we're all getting ready to become a family of four.

All Is Well

2011-09-19T20:08:00.001-05:00

The ultrasound went very smoothly. Our baby is looking good. Arms, legs, fingers, major organs all present and accounted for. You'll have to wait until after our gender reveal party to hear whether this kiddo is a boy or a girl, though. Check back Saturday night for the big (blog) reveal!

Relief

2011-09-19T08:21:00.000-05:00

I was looking through some old blog post drafts that never got published for some reason or another and came across this. Written only a couple months ago and with our sonogram taking place in just a few hours, it seems particularly apropos to post it now.

Today (July 18) was my second OB appointment. The one where we were supposed to get to hear the heartbeat. As it turned out, I never did hear the heartbeat. But I got something much better.

My doctor told us that at this stage in pregnancy, she can only find the heartbeat about half the time with the doppler. I was pretty certain we'd have no trouble hearing it, since I'm 11 weeks, and I was only 10 weeks when we heard Milo's heartbeat for the first time. But I was still a little nervous going in to the appointment, because this was sort of the make it or break it point, at least in my mind. So when my doctor couldn't find it, I of course was a little worried. But she was very reassuring, and even said she wasn't going to try that hard to find it; we'd just go and get an ultrasound instead.

I'll admit, I loved the idea of getting an early ultrasound. Especially if my doctor was confident that things were fine. So Andrew and I headed out to the waiting room, and even though we were being squeezed in between other appointments, we got called back in about two minutes to go get our ultrasound. That was perfect, because I didn't have time to get myself good and worked up and panicky.

On the table, gel on the belly, lights dimmed, and voila. Our baby on the screen. Waving at us, heart beating like mad. Awesome. Cutest 1.5-inch long baby I've ever seen.

Dear Future Baby

2011-09-16T14:37:00.000-05:00

Dear Future Baby,

(Sorry about the weirdo nickname. That is the unfortunate plight of the second child—you can't just be "baby," for how would anyone know whether I was talking about you or about your big brother? Some people say he's hardly a baby anymore, but you'll never convince me of this.)

It is only a few short days until we find out more about you. We'll find out about how big you are, how fast your heart is beating, whether you are as healthy as can be, and perhaps the most widely anticipated news of all, whether you are a boy or a girl. It's strange, this feeling of just a short time left of wonder and mystery and dreaming. As of now, I can imagine you as a little girl, dressed in an adorable little sundress and matching shoes. And I can just as easily imagine you as my sweet little boy, wearing the silly sports-themed clothing that all boys seemed destined for. Both are wonderful and amazing possibilities. But in just a few days, only one of them will continue to be a possibility.

In a way, that makes me a little sad. Believe me, I cannot WAIT to find out more about you. Knowing who you are and imagining our life as a family of four will be amazing, and it will help me prepare to meet you. But also, my baby girl or baby boy will be gone, if that makes any sense at all. I wonder if I am the only one feeling this way. I know there is no real loss here, only gain. But since you are probably-very-likely-pretty-definitely our last baby, I am about to find out whether I will never have a baby girl to smooch on or whether I will never again have a tiny baby boy to cuddle.

Enough of that sad part though. It is YOU I want to meet! Will you look like Milo? Will you look like Daddy, with dark hair and hazel eyes? Or will it take months and months before we can even tell what color your hair actually is? Or maybe you'll come out with a full head of hair and put Milo's current amount of hair to shame. Will you remind Daddy and me every day of Milo, or will you wow us with how totally unlike him you are, even though you have practically the same DNA? I'm sorry for the inevitable comparisons to your brother. I promise you, there will be no comparing the way I feel about you, because how can you measure a love that is bigger than anything I ever dreamed my heart could feel?

You've been rolling and kicking and punching me for a week or so now. I'm sure that as the weeks go on, I'll start to notice a pattern to your movements—when you sleep and when you are awake, which foods I eat make you want to dance, how well you tolerate a little caffeine. Maybe by that time Daddy and I will have chosen a name for you so I can say, "Future Baby, please quit kicking me! I'm trying to sleep!" And then I'll remind myself that being kicked from inside is probably better than being smacked in the face by a toddler, because at least this way I don't have to figure out how to discipline you.

But I digress. Point is, we still have lots of time to get to know each other before we ever look one another in the eye. I'm truly so excited to meet you. You are already such a wonderful part of our family.

See you next week.
Love,
Mommy

What should we do tonight?

2011-09-14T09:40:00.000-05:00

Every night after dinner, Andrew and I have about an hour with Milo before it's time for his bath. And every night, we wonder what to do to make the most of that hour. Last night, we played Yahtzee. We didn't keep score so I can't say for sure, but I think Milo won.

Yahtzee! from Megan Langford on Vimeo.

18 and a half weeks

2011-09-08T10:41:00.001-05:00

Here's the belly, albeit not at a great viewing angle. But look at that big kid! He used to be in that same belly. Crazy.

I think I have a new hobby

2011-09-02T08:28:00.000-05:00

Check this out.

Yeah. I totally made that.

It used to be just a couple pieces of fabric and a spool of thread.

I took a beginner sewing class. Three classes, actually. And I really enjoyed it. I've been wanting to learn how to sew so I could make some home decor basics, like window treatments, pillows, maybe a table runner or napkins or something. So the class was like a test: do I like this enough to go out and get myself a sewing machine? Am I competent enough to complete a simple sewing project?

Turns out the answer to both questions is yes.

My least favorite part of pregnancy

2011-09-01T16:23:00.000-05:00

I'm 17 weeks pregnant. I think I have more belly at this point than I did last time (thank you, abdominals, for never returning post-first pregnancy). I've already gained something like fifteen pounds. And I just hate everything about it.

I wouldn't say I have a very positive body image when not pregnant, but I do occasionally think I look pretty good. But when pregnant, my self-esteem plummets and I basically feel bad about myself the entire time. Longer than the entire time, as I hated my post-baby body for a good six or eight months. Logically I know it's ridiculous to feel fat when pregnant. To look at my belly and genuinely wish it was flatter and less noticeable. To find myself sucking in during the day. And I see already how my hips and thighs and ass seem to be spreading out, and since this is my second time with this, I have the distinct displeasure of knowing what's to come.

With Milo, I gained about 60 pounds during pregnancy. The recommended weight gain is 25-35 pounds. I flew past that in my second trimester, probably. And it took me months and months to lose it. Not fun. I dread gaining that weight again, though of course I hope to not gain quite so much this time. I dread having to lose all that weight again. I hate the feeling that my clothes don't really fit me and that I'm not looking my best.

Add to that occasional nausea (yes, still), extremely dark circles under my eyes, flaky-yet-greasy skin, and generally being completely over-emotional at everything, and I'm a mess. At least I'm not far enough along that strangers on commenting on how huge I am yet. Can't wait for that fun to begin.

Moving Day!

2011-08-26T07:50:00.000-05:00

My department at work is moving to a new area of the building. Sad for me. Goodbye, natural light. I'll miss you!

All my stuff, boxed and ready to move.

My nearly empty cube, just waiting to shut down for the day and await the mysterious overnight installation crew to move it all down the hall.

16 and a half weeks

2011-08-25T08:07:00.001-05:00

Because I actually have a half-decent outfit on, you get (have?) to see another belly photo. With a mediocre phone camera. Only the best for my readers, only the best.

First Day

2011-08-22T19:52:00.000-05:00

Milo started going to his new daycare today. I took him there in the morning, and because I wanted to be sure he was comfortable and adjusting well, I spent a couple hours there with him. I love being able to see him checking out new surroundings and just taking it all in. I was impressed with how he handled a completely new place and a completely new routine. Nothing seems to rattle this kid.

I took my camera in order to get a couple of first-day-of-school photos. There was hardly a toy in the place he didn't try out.

Breakfast!

Milo couldn't get enough of the Big Bird and Cookie Monster photos.

He patiently waited for another girl to get up from this chair so he could sit in it, then couldn't figure out how to get out.

17 Months and Growing All the Time

2011-08-21T20:33:00.001-05:00

Where do I even begin? Milo is growing and changing so much, I can't even keep up with him. He's up, he's down, he pushes the limits. Milo spends very little time being average or in the middle.

Language continues to explode. Words he says: car, truck, bye, hi, no, uh-oh, please, belly, kitty, Zadie, quack, moo, duck, doggie, Daddy, Mommy, more, teeth, banana, ball, book, bed, fan, bear, tree, baby, shoe, sock, bag, clock, yay, light, cup, fish, Elmo. Of course, there might be more that I can't recall at the moment. Things/words we know he recognizes: plate, head, nose, mouth, tongue, outside, up, down, Mommy's belly, ears, eyes, feet, toes, apple, phone, thank you, tray, diaper, TV, Big Bird, raise the roof, high five.

Milo can now climb on the fireplace hearth. Just one more place we'd rather he not be.

Milo had a rough week or so of not eating much, being extra fussy, needing extra cuddles, and not sleeping well. I think it may have been a growth spurt. Or teething. He's definitely getting taller all the time.

He's losing his round super belly. Sad. At least he's still got his chunky thighs.

He has a total of eight teeth, I think, including two molars.

Milo tends to be a little shy when he first gets around someone he doesn't know well. He warms up quickly, though, and continues to win the hearts of everyone he meets. He's a charmer for sure.

Milo has the most adorable walk, which gets even cuter when he runs. His arms just sort of flap around wildly, and it couldn't be funnier or cuter. I think it's the walk that ends up making people love him. And his winning personality, of course.

Milo loves music and singing. He's a great audience, too, because he always claps and says "yay" when I finish singing a song. He knows the itsy-bitsy spider hand motions too.

Favorite books include One Fish Two Fish, Bugliest Bug, and 100 First Machines.

Milo loves watching "Mo" (Elmo—but really he means Sesame Street) and Yo Gabba Gabba. Sigh. I suppose it had to happen sometime. Milo brings me the remote and says "Mo? Mo?" At least he takes it well when I say no.

Milo has extreme emotions. Extremely happy and giggly, or extremely upset. When he's overtired, he gets really hyper. We're getting better at knowing how he's feeling and what he needs. Oh, starting to get fussy? How about a snack? Maybe it's time for a bath.

He looks more and more like a little boy and less like a baby. He's still got his big cheeks, but they're diminishing. I'm sad that baby Milo is almost gone, but I love little boy Milo. He's awfully fun.

He's so stinkin' smart

2011-08-18T13:27:00.000-05:00

On the drive home yesterday, I started singing to Milo to keep him entertained. We sang the ABCs, Mary Had a Little Lamb, and some old campfire songs. Each time I paused to catch my breath, Milo said, "More, more."

So of course I gave him what he wanted. More singing. But when I really got tired of singing, I switched to animal sounds. "What does a cow say?" I asked. "Moooo!" I answered myself.

But then Milo started answering. Turns out he knows moo, quack, and possibly baa and neigh. When I asked him what the rooster says (and gave him my best cock-a-doodle-doo) he mimicked me with his own "Da-doo!"

I didn't know he knew any animal sounds. His daycare report sheet said he knew them, but whenever I had asked him before, I never got any response. But apparently he does know his animals, and he's awfully cute when he makes their noises.

I am too sleepy to write a coherent entry.

2011-08-17T12:22:00.000-05:00

Milo is up to eight teeth, I think. His sixth came in maybe two weeks ago, on the bottom left. Then out of nowhere we saw that he has two molars on the top! No clue when those showed up, but we noticed them last Friday. Before long he'll be a chewing maniac.
I MIGHT be feeling the baby moving. Possibly. Sometimes there's sort of a pushing feeling, like some very tiny thing is shoving to get out of my body. Honestly, I barely remember what those early movements felt like with Milo. So I could very definitely be making this up. I ought to just enjoy not being kicked and punched, because I do remember what those later movements felt like, and once the novelty wore off, it was not so fun.
Every time I'm convinced that the "morning" sickness is truly over, this dumb baby goes and reminds me that no. It is not. Last night was particularly rough because I actually had to get out of bed in the middle of the night in order to go throw up. And then I threw up again this morning. But I am still thankful that the sickness is not quite as persistently often as it was with Milo. So at least there's that.
We have officially pulled Milo out of daycare. This week he's with grandmas, and next week he'll start at an in-home daycare that's just down the street from us. There are many reasons we made this decision:more convenient, way less expensive, nice and neighborly, healthier food, fewer kids to be spreading illnesses. Andrew and I are pretty excited for this new development and hope that Milo has an easy transition.
Seems like I am especially bad at Getting Things Done these days. My new glasses have been ready to be picked up for a week. My car is beyond ready for an oil change. Laundry doesn't get done until I am out of shirts that fit over my belly. I have, however, begun to remove the ugly wallpaper border that is currently hanging in the future nursery.
I am getting antsy to find out the sex of this baby. I go to the doc tomorrow and will then schedule my sonogram—should be about four weeks from now. We're going to have another gender reveal party like we had with Milo (that I basically took zero photos of). I'm more excited to find out and for the party this time because I don't have a preference. And I know that whether it's a boy or a girl, he/she will be amazing. That said, every time I think about life with future baby, it's a girl. I think this is just because Andrew has been exclusively referring to the baby as a girl. You'll have to ask him why he does that.
I need a nap. Badly.

15 Weeks

2011-08-15T19:51:00.001-05:00

Here's a very poor camera phone pic of the belly at 15 weeks. You're welcome.

It's a...

2011-08-09T15:42:00.000-05:00

The Chinese gender chart says it's a girl. It also told me my lunar age at the time of conception was 32, which I tend to take offense at.

And, for the record, the Chinese gender chart also said Milo would be a boy. So there you have it. Science? Or just a 50-50 chance? Either way, we'll find out the sex of this jumbo-shrimp-sized baby in about five weeks.

The first time (this time)

2011-08-08T13:58:00.000-05:00

On the elevator at work this morning, I was asked by someone I don't know when my baby was due. This is notable because it marks the point where I look pregnant enough that a stranger feels comfortable surmising that yes, this woman is with child, and not just eating too many donuts.

Also, this was the first time I answered that question from a stranger for this child. And I guarantee it won't be the last. If I were to attempt to keep track, I'd guess I'd end up answering it at least a hundred times. But I am WAY too lazy to keep track for your reading pleasure. I think I'll have to vary my answers, just to keep things interesting. Today I said, "Early February." Next time maybe I'll be more specific. We shall see. Oh, the things I think about these days. It's a crazy life I'm living.

It's All Coming Back to Me Now

2011-08-05T10:41:00.000-05:00

I'm wearing maternity jeans for the first time today. They're just like I remembered: much more comfortable than unzipped pants covered by a too-tight belly band. But is the comfort worth the lack of staying power? These pants are always falling down. I can't even tell you how many times I've yanked my pants up today, and it's not even 11:00.

Also, no belt loops. Can't a girl get some faux belt loops so she has something to hook her work ID badge to?

Another Flashback

2011-08-04T14:55:00.000-05:00

Written a few weeks ago...

June 22, 2011

I've known I was pregnant for a little over two weeks now. Most of that time has been filled with worry and/or stress. It didn't take long for the morning sickness to kick in. And, just like I remembered, it really really sucks. I've been thinking about all the stuff we're going to have to do and think about, like figure out a new baby's room decor, whether we'll move Milo to a big boy bed, the daycare situation, affording another long maternity leave, telling the people I work with, and generally feeling like crap. Basically, I've just been feeling overwhelmed and stressed out by the whole thing.

Then yesterday, on my drive home, I was feeling extremely nauseous. I thought to myself, I wish I could just skip this part and get to the end where we have a little baby. And I pictured myself holding a newborn and feeling that love and amazement. It occurred to me that we were going to have another baby before too long. And I felt happy. And for a brief moment or two, I quit worrying about all that other stuff and just enjoyed the idea of another child to call my own.

Back to the Beginning

2011-07-29T09:51:00.000-05:00

I wrote this way back in early June, when I had just found out I was pregnant. You know, to capture the moment and all. Enjoy.

June 9, 2011

Big news: I'm pregnant. I know, I can barely believe it myself. Milo is going to be a big brother before the age of two. I found out five days ago and I'm still a little shocked.

We knew we wanted more than one child, and we knew we wanted them to be fairly close together. But when we started really talking about going off birth control for the second time, I did not feel ready. Being pregnant was very hard for me. I hated being sick all the time, I hated the discomfort and the heartburn and the way it messed with my skin. I hated how much weight I gained and how hard it was to lose it. So I wasn't ready to jump into that for awhile, especially not with a toddler running around.

But then... we talked about how long it took us last time to get pregnant. Over a year. And how it could definitely take that long again. And how even though I would probably never look forward to being pregnant again, I knew I wanted to have another baby. So we decided to go ahead and go off birth control, and just take it slow and see what happened. I figured I had a good six or eight months before we would possibly conceive, so I had time to really get excited about having another baby.

And six weeks later, I went and got myself good and knocked up.

We were flying to Chicago to visit friends, and since I hadn't gotten my period, I wanted to double check to be sure I could drink while we were there. Not for a single second did I actually think I might be pregnant. Not even a little. But bam, I peed on the stick and almost instantly the pregnant sign showed up. I did a double-take, then started freaking out. My heart was pounding out of my chest, and I was so shaky I couldn't stand. Sitting on the floor of the bathroom, I called for Andrew, and I couldn't even say anything. I pointed to the stick, and said "That thing says I'm pregnant." I literally didn't believe it. I started crying, out of total fear and shock. I had no idea how we were going to handle two babies. We really didn't have time to let it all sink in because we had an early flight to catch. It took another couple days (and one more positive pregnancy test) before it all really sunk in. Then yesterday the nausea began, and I fully believed I was pregnant.

I honestly don't know if we're ready for two kids. We're going to be a family of four. I don't know how I'm going to handle all the morning sickness and still play with and take care of Milo. There are a lot of things about this situation that freak me out. But then I look at Milo and see just how amazing he is. And I remember how we got through all the hurdles of those early newborn days. And I look at Andrew and know how much he loves me and Milo.

We're going to be just fine.

It's embarrassing, really.

2011-07-27T12:03:00.000-05:00

When I was pregnant with Milo, I absolutely required two breakfasts every day. I'd eat something at home, hope not to vomit it back up, then get to work and eat second breakfast.

With this pregnancy, I apparently need to eat two lunches. First lunch around 11:00, then second around 2:30 or 3:00. I've been bringing snacks and such, but today I actually just bought two lunches in the cafeteria. Definitely got some looks. I hope people assumed I was buying for someone else. They don't need to know that the someone else is about two inches long and resides in my abdomen.

Yes, that is a plate of cheesy pasta and an entire turkey sandwich. Why do you ask?

12 Weeks

2011-07-24T14:39:00.000-05:00

12 weeks. That is the number of weeks pregnant I am.

I'll wait for that to sink in. Take your time.

Are you as surprised as I was when I found out? Doubtful. But it's true. We are going to have another baby. Milo will officially become a big brother on or around February 6.

And I couldn't be happier about it.

Where has the month gone? The 16-Month Stats

2011-07-21T20:16:00.000-05:00

This last month has flown by. In some ways, Milo seems exactly the same as he did a month ago, and in other ways, he’s totally different.

He’s learning language like crazy. Almost every day he surprises me with another word he knows. I doubt I can even list them all at this point. A few notable words: Daddy, baby, tree, uh-oh, please (spoken and sign language), car.

He can identify his mouth, nose, head, belly, belly button, feet, toes (okay, feet and toes might be the same in his mind), and we’re working on ears.

On command, Milo will give hugs and kisses (sometimes), raise the roof, hand over his paci (most of the time), and say bye-bye.

Milo is turning into a real toddler. As of late, he cries All. The. Time. Pretty sure he’s learned to manipulate us. He throws tantrums, kicks his feet on the floor and screams. He will let his body go limp or throw his head back or fling his body one way or another when he’s upset. It’s very trying and we don’t really know how to deal with it. We’re trying to ignore the bad behavior and reward the good. I still think doing something like putting him in time-out would be fairly useless at this point. Just don’t think he gets it.

Milo has been waking up at all hours of the night crying. Nothing is ever wrong—not poopy, not soaked through, not sick. He just wants to hang out. We’re working on quitting going in there.

No recent official measurements, but I think Milo is growing taller and maintaining his weight. His belly doesn’t seem quite as round lately.

He still has plenty of chub, though. He’s got delicious round thighs and those cute dimples on the back of his hands. We’ve gotten several comments lately from people saying how big he is.

Unfortunately, Milo is starting to be a little bit pickier of an eater. Some nights he’ll eat everything on his plate; other nights he’ll only eat the carbs and dairy. He’s definitely not a fan of meat. Still like eggs, bananas, and yogurt.

His hair looks more and more red to me, especially in the sun.

He’s taken to dancing whenever there’s music playing. So cute to see him bobbing up and down.

He loves being chased, and is getting pretty good at running away—his balance is much improved, and he can basically run at this point.

When he walks, his arms swing around sort of haphazardly in an adorable way. Must get video of this.

Milo has five teeth.

Milo had his first trip to the beach this month. He enjoyed playing in the sand and came to enjoy the ocean, though it was intimidating at first. Photos to come.

Milo swats away things he doesn’t want. Sippy cups, spoons, a book. Sigh.

Even with all these ridiculous toddler traits, the crying and the tantrums and the swatting, it’s fun to watch this baby turn into a little kid. He’s still fairly awesome in spite of growing up on me.

Sorry for the phone-quality photos. Our camera is still with my parents, who drove it (and a bunch of our other stuff) back from vacation.

Guess what?

2011-07-01T12:18:00.000-05:00

Remember how Milo had The Diaper Rash That Would Not Go Away? Well! Turns out he had (has?) an MRSA infection!

That's terrible!

Yes. Well. I suppose I feel like somewhat better of a parent for not being able to fix it. I felt such guilt over The Rash, like maybe we just need to switch soaps or lotions AGAIN or try a new detergent AGAIN or give him more probiotics or try yet another rash cream or ointment or put him on another antibiotic for a yeast infection he didn't have (WHICH IS THE EXACT SORT OF BEHAVIOR THAT LEADS TO MRSA IN THE FIRST PLACE).

But still. How many months did he have this infection without it ever being discovered? My guess is close to six. How much damage could it have done in that time? Plenty. How many other kids at the daycare have it (because yes, I am 99.9 percent certain that he contracted it at daycare)? Who knows?

There's really no telling if Milo still has it. His diaper rash is sometimes better, sometimes worse. But since we haven't done anything to treat MRSA, I'd guess it's still present. Poor kid.

The Latest Hallmark Recordable Storybook

2011-07-01T11:06:00.000-05:00

Here's the most recent Recordable Storybook I edited. This one jumped straight to #2 out of all our books (only behind our Disney Cars Recordable Storybook, which has the support of the movie to give it an extra boost), and I predict it'll do well for a long time. Go check it out. Perfect for all the little princesses in your life!

Image from Hallmark.com

More new words

2011-06-24T10:53:00.000-05:00

Milo is learning new words faster than I can get them noted. He knows "car" and "good job." We tell him "good job" a lot, and he always claps for himself when we say it. Now he repeats it, then claps. Adorable.

15 Months!

2011-06-21T10:18:00.000-05:00

Weight: 25 lbs., 13 oz. (75th percentile)
Length: 30 1/2 in. (30th percentile)
Head Circumference: 19 in. (75th percentile)

Milo is doing so much and impressing me daily. I can't believe how quickly he learns things.

I taught him how to shake hands. It's adorable. He doesn't know to just use his right hand, so we shake with both. But seriously, can anyone tell me why we only shake hands one way?

He is constantly learning new words, and he's especially fond of "B" words. His words: ball, balloon, bird, byebye, hi, hello (like answering the phone), whoa, banana, kitty, bubble, fan, more (which he pronounces "mama").

He is just the sweetest boy ever. Yesterday I held out my arms and said, "Milo, can I have a hug?" and he smiled real big, came over to me and basically climbed into my arms. He snuggled for a moment, then went back to playing. And my heart melted all over the floor.

Milo loves swinging.

Milo likes playing at the park, and he can even go down the slide all by himself.

One of Milo's favorite activities is pushing things around. Laundry baskets, trashcans, toy bins—if he can move it, he pushes it.

He is starting to get more hair, especially in the back. It's looking pretty blond, except in the sun, when it definitely has a hint of red.

Milo has five teeth now. His 5th (top, just left of center) poked through a couple days ago.

When we say "Good job," Milo claps.

Milo's favorite book is "The Bugliest Bug." We've been reading it a lot. Andrew has it memorized. He sometimes brings over a book and expects to be read to, but his interest doesn't last long.

Favorite foods include eggs, cheese, bread, bananas, grapes, and strawberries. When he sees a banana being peeled, he literally flaps his arms with excitement.

Milo is an excellent night-sleeper, going down (easily) around 7:45 and sleeping until about 6:00. He occasionally wakes up too early, but since he rarely fusses in the night, it seems like an okay trade-off. Says me, who gets to sleep in every Sunday thanks to my amazing husband.

Milo is now 15 months old, which is the age my sister was when I was born. What? I've always known this, but now that I have a baby that old, it's even more unbelievable. So close together.

Milo cries when Andrew leaves him at daycare. Or pretty much when Andrew leaves him anywhere. He's a major Daddy's boy.

Milo likes to chase and be chased in circles around the house.

When Andrew says, "Where's Milo?" Milo covers his eyes with both hands. Then the requisite "There he is!" upon the eye reveal. Milo finds this hilarious.

During bathtime, Milo will put his face in the water sometimes. He thinks this is pretty fun.

He likes putting things in other things and taking them back out again (like toys in a basket).

He'll pick up pretty much anything and hold it up to his ear like a phone and say "hello" (pronounced more like "eh-oh") in the same intonation one would use when answering the phone. Don't know where he learned this trick, as we hardly ever talk on the phone.

Milo takes one nap during the day at daycare, and two naps on weekend days. Sigh. Wish he could get more sleep at daycare.

I love love love Milo. Sometimes I look at him and still can't believe he's mine. Lucky, lucky me.

The sprinkler, Chicago, and a really big T-shirt

2011-06-12T21:23:00.000-05:00

I know I haven't posted photos in awhile, so I wanted to reassure you that Milo is indeed still quite cute. This post is just a bunch of photos from that last month or so.

First, the really big T-shirt. Actually, on me, this is a really tiny T-shirt.

Over Memorial Day weekend, we had a little barbecue at my parents' house. Milo enjoyed riding around in the Cozy Coupe and playing in the sprinkler.

We also recently took a trip to Chicago to visit our good friends. Milo and Eli are really close in age, and it was great fun to hang out with two adorable tiny people. We even put them in matching outfits, because how else could we embarrass them when they're in middle school?

I just love Milo's expression in this one.

He climbed the stairs and went down the slide all by himself!

Hello Again

2011-06-03T10:26:00.002-05:00

Well. It has been awhile, hasn't it? I owe you some updates.

Andrew taught Milo how to "raise the roof." It's pretty funny, but very fifteen years ago. What, are we going to teach him the Macarena next?
Milo played in the sprinkler for the first time. He was a little cautious at first, but got into it after awhile. Video to come, maybe, if I get around to it.
My five-year anniversary at Hallmark is in a couple days. Seems hard to believe that I've been at this company that long. Hallmark has so many people who have been here for 25 or 30 years, that to be here for only five is to still be considered new. I spent about a month in proofreading, then spent almost a year and a half in visual merchandising before moving to the books team, where I've been for almost three and a half years. Good times. Sometimes I wonder how many years I'll work at Hallmark. Will I retire from here? I have no idea, but I'm happy where I'm at for now.
Sometimes I have incredible guilt over being a working mom. Scratch that. I often have incredible guilt over being a working mom. I see things that daycare does that are just not good enough, and I think, if I stayed home, Milo would have better. I don't really want to stay home with him, though. So instead I just cry sometimes and wallow in the guilt.
Some days I really hate daycare. Some examples: 1) Now that Milo is eating at a table with the other kids, we basically quit sending lunch and snacks with him and just let him eat the daycare food (which is crappy). So we cross off the things on the menu that we don't want him to have, like pop-tarts, brownies, and honeybuns, among others. And then when I pick him up, I see that he was fed pop-tarts anyway. Apparently the teacher that remembers to check our crossed-off menu wasn't here yet. But seriously, why does a daycare feed one-year-olds pop-tarts and brownies IN THE SAME DAY anyway? Outrageous. 2) Milo's classroom plays outside every day. They have some kind of mulch out there, I guess. The other night, after Milo had been home for over an hour (and fussy the whole time) I took his shoes off and TONS OF MULCH FELL OUT. Little pieces of WOOD inside his SHOES, that were sandal-like, so he didn't even have SOCKS on. No wonder he was fussy. I would be too if I had been walking around with shrapnel in my shoes for hours on end. 3) When I got to daycare the other day, I noticed right away that Milo smelled like poo. His teacher asked if I wanted her to change him before we left, since it had been a couple hours since his last diaper change. I said, yes please. And as she cleaned him up, I stood there playing with Milo. And she was about to snap up the clean diaper, but I could still see SEVERAL LARGE PIECES OF MULCH around his groin. I said, would you please wipe those away before putting on the new diaper? She said, oh sure, I can do that. AS IF IT WERE UNREASONABLE TO ASK TO REMOVE THE CHUNKS OF WOOD FROM MY SON'S UNDERPANTS.
We have a mile-long list of house projects, but it doesn't look like we're going to cross many of those projects off any time soon. Lack of money, lack of time, lack of Mark and Stan (they're tied up with Mark's house project). One of my goals for 2011 was to redecorate our bedroom. I've purchased some new bedding and some accessories, but I'm not sure new furniture is going to happen this year. I have to sell our current furniture first, anyway. If you or anyone you know is looking for an ebony-stained hardwood bedroom furniture set that includes a queen-sized bed, two nightstands, tall dresser, and a wide dresser with big square mirror, let me know. I'd probably be willing to make a deal.
I just learned at work that my department is moving to a different location in the building. I'm going to miss my cube. I've got a narrow sliver of window (a rare commodity in this place). I'm against the wall so I never have any passersby. And because I'm against the back wall, I'm missing a cube wall, which gives me an extra eight inches or so of space. It'll be a sad day for me when we make the move. I hear it'll be sometime before August, so I'll just have to make the most of our last summer together.
As you may have (but probably haven't) noticed in my "about me" sidebar, we are now a one-cat family. As you might recall, I had some major concerns about our cat Gary and her aggressive tendencies. Hoping to help her release some of her tension, we let her become an outdoor cat last fall. It went okay for awhile. But we put her outside on December 7, and I haven't seen her since. I remember the exact date, because it began snowing on my birthday, and I thought, I hope Gary's okay. She's been outside for four days now (longer than usual) and I don't know what she'll do in the cold and snow. Then on Christmas night, we left town to go to Colorado, and I worried that even if Gary tried to come back, we wouldn't be home to let her in. And then winter got more wintry, and at some point, I quit looking for her as I drove into the neighborhood. I have no idea what happened to her. Was she picked up by animal control? I don't think so, since she's microchipped and I think they would have contacted us. Did another family take her in and start feeding her? Probably not, since she would have peed on their floors and bitten their heads off. Was she injured, hit by a car, stuck in a tree, frozen in the snow? Makes me sad to think of it. I remember when we first got her, and she was such a tiny wiry kitten. I said to Andrew, I don't know how sad it will be when she's old and sick. She's my first pet, I can't imagine how I'll feel. But she never got to be old or sick. And honestly, I'm not really sad anymore. I look at Milo, and I know that if that cat had hurt him in any way, I would personally have driven her to the vet to never come home without thinking twice about it. So I guess it's all for the best. I just wish I knew what had happened to her.
Zadie, meanwhile, our one and only cat, has been wonderful around Milo. She lets him pet her and chase her, and even when he threw himself on top of her, she didn't swat him or anything. She's a good cat. I think we'll keep her for awhile.

Buh

2011-05-26T21:25:00.001-05:00

Milo's latest word is "buh." Any guesses on what that means? I'll give you a hint: it's a feathered, flying animal that, if early, gets the worm.

He's 14 Months Old

2011-05-22T09:59:00.001-05:00

In the last month, Milo has learned a few new words. He says "hi" and "bye" or "byebye." His "hi" makes him sound Southern, like "hiiiyuuuh." He also waves when he says these things. Milo has also learned "Mama." He has said it for a long time, but I never felt like he associated it with me as a name. But now I think he does. He comes over to me, lifts his arms as if he wants to be picked up, and says, "Mama!" So there you have it.

Milo has learned the sign language for "all done" and uses it regularly. It's much better than picking up his plate or throwing his food onto the floor to signal he's done eating.

He bobs along to music and sometimes taps out the beat on his chest or belly.

Milo knows how to go down the stairs. He sits, turns around, and scoots down on his belly. He's really quick, too.

When I say, "May I have that (insert object here), please?" he smiles and hands me the object. When I use this trick to ask for his paci, Andrew is impressed when he just hands it over. I am hoping Milo continues to be so willing as he grows. Occasionally he does not hand over the object, and hesitates, then shakes his head no. But only occasionally.

In the evenings, we have been going for walks. Not with the stroller—Milo walks, too. He follows the sidewalk as far as it will take him. It's pretty fun, just strolling along and letting Milo explore.

Milo is still a good eater. He eats a lot at almost every meal, then his belly just sticks out so round. Andrew calls him "Iron Belly."

Lately, Milo has become fascinated with ceiling fans. He points at them, stares at them, and gets super excited when we turn them on.

Milo is the most easy-going baby in the world. He falls asleep easily, he sleeps through the night, he's playful and fun, he eats well, he's a good cuddler, and he charms everyone he meets.

Milo loves bananas and does a little happy bounce when he knows that someone is peeling one for him.

Milo walks exclusively. I haven't seen him crawl in a long time.

He loves blowing raspberries in the air and using his fingers to make an underwater noise. He is excellent at imitating the sounds we make, like clicking our tongues or popping out our cheeks.

Nana has been taking Milo swimming, and though I haven't seen it, she says that he really likes it and even sticks his face in the water. Crazy.

This week Milo will be officially moved up into the next age classroom at daycare. I'm really sad about this. I know it's probably a good thing. He'll like playing with kids that are a little older. But I just don't know his new teachers, and I don't know what it's going to be like, and Idon'twantmybabytogrowupwaaaaaaahhhhh.

The End of an Era

2011-05-10T19:54:00.003-05:00

Milo has officially weaned.

Sometime last week he started to seem less interested in nursing. We'd sit down together, I'd lift my shirt and he'd rest in the crook of my arm, but would only nurse for a moment. I'd try a few times, and he might show a little interest, but after just a few minutes he'd squirm and wiggle down off my lap. After a couple days of this, he refused to even take my breast at all.

Three more days of attempted nursing, and not once did he even have a taste. Then we went to Springfield for an overnight, and it was all over. The night we returned, I didn't even try to get him to nurse. And he didn't miss it.

This evening Milo and I read three books and snuggled and rocked before he went to bed, and even that snuggly closeness didn't tempt him to nurse. So I'm calling it. Stick a fork in us, because we're done.

This is the way I hoped it would end. On Milo's timetable, I mean. But I'm still kind of bummed. Breastfeeding was perhaps the most difficult thing I've ever done, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I should be thrilled that it's over. But I'm sad. My baby doesn't need me anymore.

A Mother's Day Letter

2011-05-06T14:36:00.002-05:00

Dear Milo,

This Sunday will be our second Mother’s Day together. Last year you were awfully tiny on Mother’s Day—only seven weeks old. And as it turned out, you pretty much cried the entire day. (Was it because we dressed you in your sweater vest? Sorry about that. But you should know that as your mother, I cannot help myself.) So even with the wonderful breakfast your daddy made for me and the amazing necklace (which I wear very frequently), all that crying you did really put a damper on the day.

This year is going to be a lot different—in ways both good and bad. The good? You are much older, and tend to do less crying. And when you do cry, we can usually fix it with snuggles or food. But the bad—I will not be spending the first two-thirds of the day with you. We are going to a wedding in another town, and you will be spending the night with Grandma Susan and Grandpa Russ. (Remember to wish Grandma a happy mother’s day!)

I can’t tell you how bummed I was when I realized that we’d be driving back to town on Mother’s Day. I was so looking forward to playing with you and spending some fun time together. I thought maybe we’d go to the park or go get frozen yogurt or something. I know you don’t really know that it is a special day, so we will just have to do those things some other time. But I’ll be wishing I was with you.

You are so very special to me. I’m so glad I am your mama. You are more fun than I ever could have imagined. I love your laugh and the way you bounce in your seat. I love tickling your chubby baby thighs and the way you tried to slip me the tongue when I kissed you. I’ve never laughed so hard. I even love the way you take partially chewed-up food out of your mouth and offer it to me. It’s very generous of you.

When you were still growing inside my belly, people would tell me that they couldn’t really describe what it was like to have a kid. You just had to experience it. And, well. They were right. How can you explain the way you love a person who has peed on your face (and his own), vomited in your hair, pooped in your arms, and screamed in your ear? Why do you love a person who breaks your heart when you have to leave him with someone else for a few hours, then turns around and breaks your heart again when you return and he doesn’t want to go to you? There’s simply no explaining it.

Milo, there is nothing you could ever do that would make me love you less. I hope you know that. Thanks for all your hugs and smooches. You’re amazing.

Love,
Mama

FREE!

2011-04-23T09:28:00.004-05:00

I am giving away some Very Fine Art to some lucky readers. I bought six of these prints in Hallmark's Double D (for "double discount") shop awhile back, thinking I could replace the watercolors with something different and just use the frames. But in the end, we decided to go a different route with our design plan (and the frames weren't quite as easy to reuse as I hoped).

They're great frames, very high quality. As you'll see in the corner sticker, these originally retailed for $45. And the art isn't so bad, though it's not my style. If my company's policy would allow it, I'd try to sell them. But that could get me fired, so instead I shall give them away.

Each frame measures 15.5" x 18", with the mat opening 8.5" x 11". If you want one (or more) of these fine beauties, just let me know in the comments. Local readers preferred, as I don't particularly want to ship it to you.

13 Months Old

2011-04-21T20:28:00.003-05:00

Milo has learned several words. He doesn't use them consistently, but we're pretty sure he knows what they mean. In no particular order, here they are: kitty, balloon, ball, whoa, up. He has also learned the sign language for "more" and uses that fairly frequently. It's amazing to see how much he understands, too. I think he knows most of what we say to him, and he can definitely read our facial expressions.

Milo has taken to pouting with his lower lip stuck out, if he thinks we think he is doing something bad. I say, "please leave your cup on the tray" or "no, no, Milo, be gentle with the kitty" and he pouts and looks like he's going to cry.

Milo entertains himself for longer stretches of time. He likes to look at his collection of board books. He's also incredibly needy, and desperately wants to be held and carried.

He is getting to be an excellent walker and hardly ever crawls. He wanders back and forth, all around the house. He's quite the little explorer.

Buttons. Milo can't get enough of them. Buttons on the TV remote, buttons on our phones and iPods, the garage door button—you name the button, Milo wants to push it.

Milo has four teeth. We're back to blaming every little oddity on teething. Not sleeping well? Maybe he's teething. Not eating like usual? Maybe he's teething. Drooling a lot? Probably teething. It seems we spend about 75 percent of the time wondering if he'll get more teeth soon.

And, speaking of not sleeping well, Milo has been waking up EARLY. Like 5:00am early. This morning he actually woke up a few minutes before 4:00. Not fun. At all.

Still addicted to the pacifier. Half the time I think he only can't get back to sleep in the wee hours of the morning because he lost his paci in the night. And no paci = no sleep. For any of us.

Some of Milo's toys du jour include drumsticks, board books, plastic tools, a balloon, and his little red chair. Also the chair featured below (our new monthly photo chair—the other one just never had good lighting). He loves to climb on it.

Milo never sits still for me to trim his nails. This means I end up waiting until they're dangerously long, then try to get him to fall asleep during story time so I can trim them then. This has worked about 50 percent of the time, so almost 100 percent of the time Milo has raggedy sharp nails.

Milo gives high fives and loves getting a silly reaction from Mommy and Daddy when he high fives them. He blows kisses. He waves. He (might) use the sign language for "all done" (which looks kind of like a wave, so I'm not sure). He points. He nods and shakes his head.

Daycare told me that he loves The Itsy Bitsy Spider and The Wheels On the Bus. And when I sang Itsy Bitsy Spider for him, he did indeed smile, bounce along, and generally have a rockin' good time. Daycare also told me that he actually did the hand motions (at least once). I have yet to see that.

We've been battling the Worst Diaper Rash Of All Time for a LONG time. This means several trips to the doctor, several different prescription creams, and no more cloth diapers, at least until we're no longer using all these creams. We cannot figure out what's causing the rash or why we can't get rid of it. We have an appointment for Milo to see a dermatologist the week after next so hopefully we can get to the bottom of this. (Get it? The BOTTOM? HA HA HA!)

His hair is red. I'm going to go ahead and put that out there, that I think his coloring will ultimately end up being close to mine. Of course, he still pretty much a baldy, so we'll see what his hair looks like around the time he needs his first haircut, in three years or so.

Much like his love for buttons, Milo loves things that light up. Our TV power button has a little red light on it, so naturally Milo wants to push this button. Repeatedly. To fix this, I taped a piece of paper over that button. The volume and channel buttons below it have no light and therefore no interest from Milo. Other things with lights include cell phones and iPods, his Pal Scout's tag, the DVR, and the power strip in our bedroom.

He loves climbing up on top of things and back down again. I'm amazed at how good he is at stretching, reaching, and pulling himself up. Also amazed at the boy's flexibility.

Milo is learning to feed himself with a spoon. He tries to scoop up food with it and everything. Sometimes if he isn't interested in the food, we get him to eat it using his own spoon, held by him, and he often goes ahead and eats the offending food. But this trick only works once or twice before he catches on, so better make it a pretty damn nutritious bite.

Milo is a bit shy around strangers, but he warms up pretty quickly.

We've now officially had our first night away from him, and the second night away from him is already planned (we're going to an out-of-town wedding; we didn't just love our night away so much we had to schedule another). It's nice to know that Andrew and I can take time to focus on our marriage occasionally and Milo will be just fine.

As Milo gets better at communicating, he gets more and more fun. We certainly have moments and entire days that are not easy. Milo fusses, we get frustrated. We're all exhausted. But I love the little boy he is turning into, and I wouldn't change a thing.

13-Month Photo Shoot: Behind the Scenes from Megan Langford on Vimeo.

Now that Milo has passed the year mark, I'm changing things up for the monthly photos. New chair with better lighting and more Milo-appeal. No more white onesie. We're going diaper-only now. Keeping the pillow, of course.

Mini-Vacation

2011-04-19T21:02:00.003-05:00

Last Thursday Andrew and I celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary by going on a mini-vacation to Weston, MO. It was our first time to go away together since we became parents and my first night away from Milo.

And it all went really, really well. Of course I missed Milo and wondered what he was up to. How was his bath? Did he get a bedtime story? Did he wonder where we were? He was with his nana, my MIL, and I know he adores her. But still. Obviously no one can take care of him quite as well as his daddy and me.

Andrew and I had a great time. We desperately needed a night away from our daily grind. It's wearing, working all the time, constantly doing chores and being responsible for a tiny person's well-being. We didn't have the time or the funds for a huge trip, so a single night at a B&B it was. We've never really spent any time in Weston, so it was all new to us. We wandered into every single store, sampled the local wine and beer, had a couple of great meals, and watched about half of a dull video on Lewis and Clark. But mostly we just had fun being together.

Happy Anniversary to us!

We saw this shop: Old Geezer's Mantiques. I thought it would surely be the most awesome shop in the entire town, but turns out not so much. The smell in that place made me nauseous, literally. It smelled like incense and cigars and body odor and a moldy old basement, all rolled into one overcrowded space. Gross.

Exploring Weston made us T-I-R-E-D. We had to stop to rest at least five times in a two-block stretch of shopping. Perhaps we should have napped instead?

When we got back, Milo was not nearly as excited to see us as I hoped he would be. He was happy we were back, even though he didn't give me the huge grin and excited welcome that I had imagined. But who can blame him, when going home meant leaving Nana and Grandpa Mark?

(Side note: I'm still nursing Milo in the morning and before his bedtime, but when I'm away from him, he just goes to bed without any milk. So while we were gone, Milo didn't get anything to replace his breast milk snacks. But I took my pump in case I needed some relief. And, well, I did not. At all. In fact, I went about 36 hours between nursing sessions, and still felt like there wasn't really any milk in there. Crazy. Makes me wonder if Milo isn't nursing so much as just hanging out and being close. Perhaps complete weaning will come soon?)

They're coming in droves

2011-04-09T21:36:00.001-05:00

Milo got his fourth tooth. The top left one. Now that he has both top teeth, he looks different. Where did my baby go? Someone stole him and left this toddler in his place.

A New Word

2011-04-06T10:53:00.002-05:00

At Milo's 12-month check-up, the doctor asked if Milo had said any words yet. We said that he could say "kitty," but nothing else. She said that by his 15-month check-up, he would probably know three to five words. I brushed it off, thinking, "No way. He's been saying 'kitty' for a month. How could he possibly get five more words in just a few short months?"

But. (You know where this is going, eh?) After breakfast this morning I asked Milo if he was ready to get up, and he raised his arms and so clearly said, "Up. Up."

I said, "Did you just say 'up'? You totally just said 'up!' Yay!" And that is literally how it went. I know you all appreciate the play-by-play.

So maybe Milo will have three to five words by June 21. (By the way, Andrew thinks Milo can say "balloon" too, but I'm not convinced.)

He's up to three

2011-04-04T16:38:00.003-05:00

Milo got his third tooth on Saturday. I've been convinced that this tooth was on its way for quite some time now, but it finally made it's sharp little appearance this weekend. Top left, for those of you who want all the details. Now we just have to wait for the next round of teething to begin. I can't wait, can you?

This one makes me want to gush

2011-03-30T22:38:00.001-05:00

Today Milo blew me a kiss for the first time. Before today, I would blow him a kiss, with the kissy noise and the hand gesture, and he would either a) do nothing, or b) bring his hand to his mouth, then get distracted and suck on his fingers.

But today he brought his hand to his mouth, and said "ah" as he brought has hand down. It was so cute. I was so proud of him.

And, speaking of being proud, Milo can sort of feed himself with a spoon. He likes to hold the spoon at meals, and lately Andrew tried putting some food on the spoon, then helping guide it to Milo's mouth. Well, now when Andrew puts some food on the spoon, Milo can bring it to his own mouth. We cheered for him, and I think Milo was proud of himself, too. (and ok, sometimes Milo would just pick the food off the spoon with his other hand. But hey, it's a start.)

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Two Not-So-Great Firsts

2011-03-29T19:42:00.002-05:00

In the last week or so, Milo has experienced a couple of firsts that, frankly, I would have preferred him to avoid forever. But avoidance would have been nearly impossible.

Milo had his first injury that involved blood. Thankfully, not a lot of blood. He tripped and fell into the coffee table, smacking his face in the process. He got a bruise on his upper lip, and bit his mouth. Yeah, that one made him cry for quite awhile.
Milo choked on a piece of food for the first time. The culprit? Watermelon. I guess the piece was too big and it just slid down too fast and made Milo choke and gag. I think it startled him more than anything, because the food didn't stay stuck at all. But the gagging that followed lasted way longer than I would have guessed. My heart also pounded way longer than I would have guessed. Milo needed quite a bit of consoling after this episode. He cried (for way longer than after the bleeding incident, to my surprise) and screamed and could not calm down. Even his beloved paci could not soothe him. But after he was out of his high chair and in my arms, some patting and shushing eventually did the trick. The watermelon was cut into much smaller pieces, and Milo resumed eating it, as though nothing had ever happened.

Last night...

2011-03-29T09:12:00.003-05:00

...I was home alone with Milo until Andrew got home from yoga at 7:00.
...Dinnertime was one big tantrum.
...Mashed potatoes were thrown on the floor.
...Meatballs were flung halfway across the kitchen.
...Milo threw his cup on the floor and refused to drink any water.
...Milo drank a ton of tub water during his bath.
...Milo peed all over the changing table immediately following his bath.
...The puddle was too tempting, and pee was swished around and got all over Milo's hands.
...Bedtime nursing did not go well.
...Milo bit me. Hard. Three times.
...Two of the three Langfords ended up in tears.

The Birthday Party!

2011-03-27T21:13:00.008-05:00

As I may have mentioned once or twice or a hundred times, Milo turned one last week. And we celebrated by throwing him a birthday party. I spent a LOT of time planning and preparing for this party, and I have to say, it was all worth it. Milo had a great time, and everything turned out just right. All in all, it was a success.

To read my commentary and see a few select photos, continue reading. For a slide show of all the party pics, scroll to the bottom of this post or view my web album here.

Happy Birthday, Milo. You're the best.

It was a robot theme. Since I wrote the copy for her website, Janice of RSVParty made this robot for me. She also helped me come up with tons of great ideas for the party. If you want a great wedding/party planner, hire this woman. Thanks, Janice! Anyway, robot theme. Lots of robot things, like these robot snacks:

There were robot placemats.

I even made a robot cake! Can you believe it? Isn't he cute? I love his little donut legs. It was my very special funfetti recipe. Been in the family for years.

Milo wasn't sure what to think of all the party fun.

But he warmed up by present-opening time. Note his adorable "one" onesie, courtesy of my friend Erica. So sweet! He's worn it three times in the last week, and I'm not even kidding.

Milo was not too eager to dig into his cake at first. He was all, WTF? What is this? Why is it not cut into tiny bites like I am used to? And why were all those people singing and staring at me a second ago?

But Daddy gave him a taste and he was all, meh. Cake is okay, I guess. Perhaps I eat some more.

Milo was pretty cute with cake smeared all over his face. Until he rubbed his eye and got a frosting shiner. I swear no one punched him.

Milo loves balloons. I am tempted to keep some balloons on hand just to entertain him. They never failed to produce a smile, even in the most dire of circumstances, like when Milo felt a smidge hungry or preferred to be carried.

So I have a toddler now. It's true what they say about time flying when you're having fun etc. etc. Nobody's more fun than this little man.

*A big THANK YOU to JiaoJiao for taking all these photos!

Milo's One-Year Photo Shoot

2011-03-27T20:22:00.003-05:00

Yesterday Milo and Andrew and I met Rachel, our wedding and "baby's first year" photographer, at the Plaza branch of the KC public library for Milo's one-year photo shoot. Milo had a great time playing and checking out the sights, and we had fun chasing after him and occasionally smiling for the camera. Thanks, RPM Photography, for another fantastic photo shoot.

Check out the preview on the RPM blog here.

Birthday Video: The Remix

2011-03-24T22:31:00.004-05:00

I had some issues with my previous first-year video. Let's try it again, this time with different music...

One Entire Year: the 12-Month Stats

2011-03-21T20:30:00.004-05:00

Wow. Milo is one year old. Twelve months. 365 days. And—sing it with me—525,600 minutes. Here are his official statistics.

Weight: 21 lbs., 10 oz. (30th percentile)
Length: 28 3/4 in. (20th percentile)
Head Circumference: 18 1/4 in. (50th percentile)

At one year, Milo can walk.

At one year, Milo likes to be carried.

At one year, Milo can climb our entire staircase without ever pausing to rest.

At one year, Milo has said his first word: kitty. He had said it at eleven months, but I wasn't sure if he knew what he was saying. But now it's pretty clear that whenever he sees Zadie, he says the same noise, "kheekhee," which is obviously "kitty."

At one year, Milo began to get ear infections again. Thank you, tubes. He's been on antibiotics twice in the last month, and at his check-up today, I learned that his other ear got an infection WHILE HE WAS ON THE ANTIBIOTICS. Did not know that was possible.

At one year, I, too, have an ear infection. I now feel a whole lot more sympathy for Milo—this really freaking hurts. My head may explode at any minute.

At one year, Milo is a super snuggler. When he isn't feeling well especially, he likes to cuddle and cuddle. He lays his head down on your shoulder and rests his hand on your arm. Nothing in the world feels better than this.

At one year, Milo likes to be close. If he's feeling the need, he'll just reach out and touch me on the leg or arm as he plays on the floor, just to be sure I haven't gone anywhere.

At one year, Milo is a pretty good eater, unless he's sick. He likes cheese a lot right now.

At one year, Milo has been teething for much of the last month, and yet...

At one year, Milo still has just two teeth. I swear the top two are *thisclose* to coming in. In another month, I'll likely be saying the same thing, though.

At one year, Milo loves balloons.

At one year, Milo loves to be outside. Thank god it's warming up outside.

At one year, Milo is a waving fool. He waves at anything and anybody. Occasionally he waves in the opposite direction of the person he's waving at. Pretty funny.

At one year, Milo doesn't like to put his sippy cup down on his tray. It almost always ends up on the floor.

At one year, Milo is already quite good at throwing tantrums. If he wants to be picked up and I'm not quite able or ready to pick him up right that instant, he cries and cries, and throws himself prostrate on the floor. Can't wait for the terrible twos...

At one year, Milo no longer gets breast milk during the day. I am done pumping during the work day, and it is glorious. In place of the breast milk, Milo drinks whole milk, but some days he likes it and some days he doesn't. I'm not concerned about that, as long as he gets enough fluids and eats his green veggies.

At one year, Milo likes to be tickled and likes to tickle. If he can see a bit of tummy poking out when Mama or Daddy is lying on the floor, he pokes it and we laugh. And the tickling game goes on.

At one year, Milo loves hiding behind the curtain in the office while we say "Wherrrrrrrre's Milo?" Then he flings it aside and giggles and giggles when we shriek with surprise and delight to see him. This is one of my favorite games.

At one year, Milo is entertained by his toys and can play independently for quite some time. That is, when he isn't sick.

At one year, Milo has deep blue eyes, brownish reddish blondish hair, dark brown eyelashes, and gorgeous pink-red lips.

At one year, Milo's thighs are exceedingly chompable, as are his toes, elbows, and neck.

At one year, Milo is so cute, so sweet, so lovable, so wonderful, so everything.

At one year, I don't know how we got so lucky. I love Milo more than I ever thought I could love someone. I feel so privileged to be his mommy.

Happy Birthday, Milo

2011-03-21T09:31:00.003-05:00

A few thoughts

2011-03-17T11:11:00.004-05:00

Milo’s birthday party is on Sunday, and I still have SO MUCH to do to get ready. Crossing my fingers that it will all come together in the end…
I’m down another few pounds (!!!) and it seems my weight-loss plateau has finally come to an end. I’m now twelve pounds below my starting pregnancy weight and only five pounds from my goal.
Milo has been sick again, and we’re all dragging in the Langford household. For whatever reason (teething, difficulty breathing, generally not-feeling-well), Milo has been waking up every day for the last week or so at 5am. Or earlier, if we’re lucky. And I am TIRED.
I am no longer pumping at work. So nice not to be doing that anymore. And Milo is doing just fine (other than the aforementioned issues, that is).
This morning Milo was in the bathroom with me while I, um, used the facilities. He opened the cabinet, pulled out a large box of pantyliners, and grabbed them by the fistful, surrounding himself with little piles of feminine hygiene items. Time for more babyproofing!
As you know, today is St. Patrick’s Day and I would like a shamrock shake. Can someone please make that happen for me?

Well Said

2011-03-10T14:00:00.002-06:00

I just read a post on the Advice Smackdown from my favorite blogger, Amalah, about mom judgey-ness. The post was actually about cloth diapering, but the part that really hit home with me was this:

You’re either the Weird Mom who won’t let them have food coloring or the Bad Mom who treats them to McNuggets for lunch. And honestly, I could not care less about any of it anymore. I’m a cloth-diapering breast-feeding bottle-supplementing co-sleeping crib-transitioning baby-food-making baby-wearing stroller-pushing ingredient-obsessing cartoon-watching Weird Bad Good Enough Mom, and I LOVE IT.

Like every other mom out there, I'm full of contradictions in the way I parent: I have fed Milo fewer than ten jars of store-bought baby food, but his birthday cake is coming straight from a box. I have given Milo exactly one bottle of formula, but I'm still feeling guilty about giving up pumping at work one week before his first birthday instead of pumping all the way until the year mark. I put Milo on an alternative immunization schedule in order to prevent too much bad stuff from going into his little body all at once, but I have given him Ibuprofin pretty much every day for the last week and a half.

And I hope no one judges me for any of those decisions. That's the way I do things because it works for us. And I love it, too.

Less than two weeks to go

2011-03-08T19:05:00.003-06:00

One year ago, I was hugely pregnant and sure I'd go into labor any minute. I had no idea what I was about to get into. Even if the me of today told the me of last year what this year would be like, I wouldn't have understood. There's honestly no way to explain what it's like to figure out how to be a mom. (You never really figure it out, by the way. There are always new challenges and new things to learn. Thankfully, Milo doesn't seem to have a clue that his dad and I are novices.)

Milo will be one year old in a little less than two weeks. In the most cliche way possible, this year has truly flown by. I watch Milo every day learning something new and figuring things out. And he amazes me. Just a few short months ago he couldn't even control his arm movements or lift his head. Now he can point, wave, bounce, climb, walk. And the list goes on.

I think Milo might be starting to say his first words. Like many things, his "first word" is fairly ambiguous. I think he has started saying something like a guttural "keekee" when he sees the kitty. I definitely hear "mamamama" when he wants to nurse. And this morning he may have pointed at the bookshelf and said "ehh-sit?" which sounded a lot like "what's this?" (Surely he can't be saying two-word phrases, right?) But the very first word to go in the old proverbial baby book? Not sure at all.

I'm thrilled that Milo is getting older and I'm sad that he's not staying small. More happy than sad. I can't wait to run around outside with him this summer or sing songs with him or take him to the petting zoo at Deanna Rose. He's just going to love that stuff.

But he has tubes!

2011-03-03T19:31:00.003-06:00

Milo has ANOTHER ear infection. I noticed last week that there was goop coming out of his ear, and I wondered if that was just what happened when a baby has tubes, or if it was something to be concerned about. And after a call to the doc and several days of goop, we decided it was something to be concerned about. And sure enough, infection.

I thought the tubes would prevent this sort of thing. But I guess they're not magic tubes. If I'd known Milo would still get ear infections and be on antibiotics just two months after getting the tubes, would we have still chosen to go ahead with the surgery? Probably? But I wonder, was it worth the risk?

And, speaking of antibiotics, get this. The day Milo took his first dose of his ten-day course of meds, the pharmacy called me around 10:00pm and left a message, which I did not see until 10:30. They thought there has been a problem with the water dispenser, and Milo's medicine might not have enough water mixed in. Meaning, he might be getting extra strong stuff. Also, we might run out early. They wanted us to bring in the bottle so they could check it and replace it with a definitely-mixed right bottle.

So at 10:45, long after I wished I had been in bed, I set out for the pharmacy. And they had indeed messed up the water mix. Sigh. I'm glad they called; I wouldn't want Milo to have gotten extra-strength amoxicillin for a week or more. But I would have been more glad if it hadn't gotten messed up in the first place.

(He's feeling much better now. Aside from the teething, anyway. He's still Mr. Crankybutt, but I like him anyway.)

See Milo Walk

2011-02-28T07:30:00.000-06:00

Walking! from Megan Langford on Vimeo.

Walkin' on Sunshine

2011-02-24T20:10:00.006-06:00

Andrew and I have been coaxing Milo to walk for the last couple of weeks (like you see in these photos, which were taken last week). He could stand fairly well, but he always panicked and wanted to either hold onto something or sit down.

But we persisted, and tonight he gave in. At eleven months and three days, Milo took his first steps!

Milo and I were in the living room, and he was playing with my work ID badge. He stood up all on his own, and balanced there for quite a while. He tentatively took a step, then three more before sitting down.

I cheered and clapped for him. He was all, what are you clapping for? To him, it was just another day. But to me, it was the first step toward a whole new beginning.

What? Eleven months old? How can that be?

2011-02-20T21:26:00.006-06:00

At eleven months, we still have one more month until Milo's next check-up, but I think he weighs between 20 and 21 pounds. No idea how tall he is. Tall enough to peer over the arm of the sofa.

At eleven months, Milo has begun to point at things he wants. For awhile, he just grunted and bounced in place when he wanted something. Now he points. Who taught him how to point?

At eleven months, Milo has figured out how many of his toys work. He rolls the timer on his kitchen set to hear his favorite song. He opens and shuts the tiny fridge door. He stacks the colored rings. He can make the ball popper start. He takes the puzzle pieces out and claps them together. I'm sure it won't be long before he can put the puzzle pieces back in the board.

At eleven months, Milo can cruise the furniture. He will stretch out an arm to get from the chair to the coffee table. His favorite routes are back and forth in front of the coffee table, and back and forth along the hearth and TV.

At eleven months, Milo will walk holding onto just one hand. We keep encouraging him to take his first steps, but he hesitates. He will stand independently, and can slowly lower himself to the ground, but he doesn't want to walk without support.

At eleven months, Milo likes to blow spit bubble. "Mmmmuuuuh. Mmmmuuuuh. Mmmmuuuuh," he'll say, over and over and over, with a very serious expression on his face. And these giant bubbles of spit spew forth from his mouth. Then the drool starts running down his face, soaking his shirt. He's pretty much in a drool bib all the time these days.

At eleven months, Milo has no patience for the spoon. He will shake his head no when we offer him food on a spoon, but will eat the same thing if he picks it up off the tray himself.

At eleven months, Milo is now riding rear-facing in his new convertible car seat. We've only been using the new seats for a few days, and things are going fairly well. Milo doesn't seem to love getting in the chair, but I think it's just because he isn't used to traveling this way. Even after just a few days, his protests are lessening.

At eleven months, Milo likes to crawl all over us to play. He likes to lean into us, then throw himself backward. Fortunately we caught on to this game, so we're ready to catch him before he hits the floor.

At eleven months, Milo likes veggies and meat, especially when they're mixed together in little meatballs.

At eleven months, Milo will sit in restaurant high chairs, but he leans his head back as far as he can, so he's looking at the ceiling. This makes me extremely nervous that he's going to choke.

At eleven months, Milo babbles and babbles. Sometimes he makes high-pitched screaming sort of noises, but cute ones.

At eleven months, Milo swipes his hands back and forth across his high chair tray when he is done eating. This is typically followed by throwing any remaining food on the floor, so it's usually our cue to clean him up.

At eleven months, Milo is a huge snuggler.

At eleven months, Milo still has just two teeth.

At eleven months, Milo likes to hang upside down, be tossed onto the bed, and run around with Daddy.

At eleven months, Milo doesn't twist and turn as much on the changing table. Not sure if it's because he's really any different or because we've started giving him his paci when he's on the table.

At eleven months, Milo definitely loves his pacifier.

At eleven months, Milo does not have a lovey.

At eleven months, Milo sleeps primarily on his tummy.

At eleven months, Milo still takes crappy naps at daycare and excellent naps in the arms of his grandmothers.

At eleven months, Milo's morning nap is beginning later in the morning. I wonder if he is beginning to phase it out.

At eleven months, Milo experiments a lot with new sounds. One of them is his new laugh, a low-pitched, fast growly sort of noise, like "Heh heh heh." Very fake-laugh sounding.

At eleven months, Milo sleeps through the night. And I'm going to say that without any caveats. About two or three weeks ago we just decided we weren't going to get up with him anymore. After a few nights of no problems, and one night of a solid two hours of crying, he's done really well. Aside from occasionally being ready to get up at 5am, I love his new sleeping pattern.

At eleven months, I want to keep Milo this age for a few months. He's awfully cute right now. I'm not ready for him to be one year old yet.

The only title for this post that I could think of was "Got Milk?" So there you go.

2011-02-20T17:26:00.002-06:00

A couple months ago, Milo's pediatrician told us that he had gotten too skinny and needed to put on some weight. He had gained weight pound-wise (albeit very slowly) but had dropped too far down on the growth chart. The doctor recommended continuing to breastfeed, but thought we should turn my three daily pumpings into two bottles, then also give him a third bottle of formula.

I was crushed. I had made it nine months without giving Milo a drop of formula, and now my supply wasn't enough to keep my baby healthy. I had failed, and no way could anyone convince me otherwise. After the initial breastfeeding troubles, it was probably the lowest point of my mothering career thus far. Many, many tears were shed, but after a couple of days, I came to the conclusion that though I knew that supplementing with formula would likely make my supply problem worse, not better, I also knew that my current supply just wasn't adequate for Milo's needs, and I wasn't willing to spend every waking hour pumping. I already hated the three times a workday I spent hooked up to that loud, beeping monstrosity, and I was not interested in upping that to four or five times a day. So formula it was.

Andrew and I talked and came up with a plan. We had three days of daycare before the Christmas holiday started, so we'd try giving Milo formula for those three days, then hopefully being with him and nursing over the long break would help increase my supply to better match his actual needs. So Monday, Day 1 of our plan came; we sent two 5-oz bottles of breastmilk and one bottle of formula, along with his regular breakfast and lunch. When I picked Milo up that night, I learned that he apparently had been so full that he hadn't finished his breastmilk bottle (I guess they gave him the formula first) and five ounces of liquid gold just got poured down the drain. FAIL. No more formula was sent to daycare.

After the long Christmas holiday, I did seem to be able to pump a little more, but not a lot more. We just began sending more solids to daycare with Milo, and loading everything he ate up with butter, cheese, and olive oil. And he definitely began to gain weight. We returned to the doctor for a weight check one month later, and he was up about two pounds. We felt pretty good about that, and I quit worrying so much about how much I was able to pump.

But over the last few weeks, my pumping output has gotten smaller and smaller. When I started pumping five months ago, I would get about four ounces per session. After awhile, that became a steady three ounces a session. I am now down to one or two ounces per session. I cannot tell you how much I stressed about this. I began going through my freezer stash of expressed milk (which, again, I knew wasn't going to help my supply) because I wanted Milo to get enough and I wasn't willing to increase the number of pumping sessions I had.

After a couple weeks of stressing over this, I realized that my mindset had shifted. I went from stressing about how I wasn't pumping enough to stressing that Milo wasn't getting enough to eat. And I think that was sort of profound. Whereas before I was of course worried that Milo wasn't eating enough, I only worried about it in relation to my milk supply. Now I just wanted to be sure he was getting enough calories, no matter what the source.

Plus, I was ready to quit pumping. My goal all along had been to pump at work until Milo turned one, then start weaning from that while continuing to nurse him in the mornings and before bed. But now, as he turns 11 months old, I'm ready to start weaning from the pump. Honestly, I think Milo has been helping me do that for the last few weeks anyway. When he's hungry during the day, he ups the amount of solid foods he eats, he doesn't wait until he's with me at night and then nurse more.

But if I was going to start decreasing my pumping, what was going to replace the breastmilk in his diet? I'd use my freezer stash first, but that wouldn't last long. What then? Could he go ahead and have cow's milk, even though they say not until the first birthday? I did some research and called the doc, and it seems that at this point, as long he drinks enough water and eats plenty of food (with lots of calcium-rich veggies and all that good balanced nutrition) he doesn't really need to replace the breastmilk with anything. And since I've been drinking cow's milk, Milo can go ahead and have that, too. So wow. It was really going to happen.

And starting tomorrow, I'm going to begin weaning from the pump. And I'm truly, honestly ready for that.

Funny You Should Ask

2011-02-18T10:00:00.004-06:00

Why, yes, that is LL Cool J posing with one of Hallmark's Recordable Storybooks. And not just any Recordable Storybook, but the pretty pink one called My Little Princess.

Awww...

photo pulled from the Hallmark intranet site

Worst Baby Book Ever

2011-02-13T22:05:00.005-06:00

I miss posting on this blog. I really would like to share more with all my loyal readers. (Hi, Readers! Sorry about the lack of content! I hope you still like me!!!!1exclam!!1) But I have been uninspired lately. I'm super busy at work, it's been very wintry outside, the chores never end, and... I don't really have any good reasons. (Unless you count how Andrew began P90X a few weeks ago and has been using my computer to view his workout nearly every evening, making blogging much more difficult.) And I know I'm doing that thing I used to do in college, where I just sort of shut down when the list of things to do (or in this case, write about) got so long and overwhelming that it seemed impossible to catch up on. So I put it off until the last minute. In college, the last minute was the due date or final. In blogging, I don't have that safety net. I can ignore this thing eternally.

But I don't want to do that. I want this blog to serve as Milo's baby book and my back-up memory. I want it to be my phone calls with long-distance family and friends, and my hi-how-are-you notes to the people I care about. So I promise to keep trying, keep writing, and keep sharing photos of my adorable baby. Because I know that's all you're here for, anyway.

Tonight I give you a few short updates/random thoughts.

I've been in a decorating mood lately. I'm working on our office, the master bedroom, the dining room, and the future playroom (but only sort of half-assed on the playroom). The office is looking fantastic, and I have so many ideas for our bedroom I'm bursting.
I have successfully given away a bunch of weights using the website ReUseItKC.com (or something; it was a yahoo group) and I would like to get rid of more stuff. Which reminds me: Jeff, if you would still like that rustic-looking wooden thing with the mirror and the coat hooks, it's all yours. You can pick it up whenever you like. Thanks.
Milo shakes his head "no" ALL THE TIME. I am not convinced he fully understands what "no" means, but he does use the head shake to turn down food, refuse a nose-wipe, request a different game, and indicate that he is done with dinner.
I would like a bed from Ikea. The Edland four-poster bed. If anyone would like to get one for me and bring it to me, I would like that very much.
I stripped our cloth diapers today with a little Dawn dish soap, some nearly boiling water, and a whole bunch of rinses. Cross your fingers that they quit leaking. And to all the ladies at daycare, please quit using Desitin with our cloth diapers!
The voice-recognition product I spent months working on a year and a half ago has made it to Hallmark stores, and it's selling really well. I'm quite proud of it, actually, so please go check out the new Interactive Storybook & Story Buddy from Hallmark. Cooper the Bear and Watson the Raccoon are both available, and they're both really fun and cute.
Milo's first birthday is just around the corner, and I am going with a robot theme. I wanted to make a robot cake, but since I'm no pastry chef, I thought it best to practice. Well. This weekend I attempted my first cake, and, well, Robot Cake = FAIL. I am now considering a hopefully much simpler Rice Krispie treat robot. That doesn't sound too hard, does it? Of course, I didn't think the cake would be that hard, either...
We ordered two convertible car seats this weekend. Milo is just way too big to keep carrying around in that infant seat. Technically, he can go in it until he's 30 pounds, but a) he's heavy enough in that seat at 20 pounds, and b) he's very close to maxing out the height. So time for a new seat. The seat that sounded great online is not available in any local stores, so I ordered it sight unseen. Hope we like it.
My weight loss is not going well, as of late. I keep eating like crap, and the scale is reflecting it. It sucks and makes me mad at myself.
I have a confession to make: We pay people to clean our house. There, I said it. I've been feeling inadequate because I hardly ever clean anything, and lazy because I don't want to spend my short amount of free time cleaning, and awful because good moms probably vacuum occasionally or something. I didn't want to admit that we can't even keep our own house clean so I have hardly told anyone that we got a housecleaning service. But the silence ends now. And for the record, I totally recommend paying someone to clean your home. It's much nicer than cleaning it yourself.
My husband has spectacular legs. When he does his P90X ab workout, his shorts slide up when he does reverse crunches and such, and let me tell you, those are some nice legs he's showing off.

Come on, guys. Is putting a napkin on my head really necessary?

Okay, I admit it, that was kind of fun. Again?

Hand Gestures (the Not-Rude Ones)

2011-02-08T14:07:00.000-06:00

Milo is learning how to use his hands. We got the high-five down weeks ago, and we've been working on waving. He is definitely getting better at understanding when waving is appropriate, and in fact might overuse the wave. He waves at the kitty, he waves at us during dinner, he waves at the doorway when he hears Daddy downstairs. And occasionally he even waves hello or bye-bye.

Milo has also begun clapping. Ohmygoodness, is it cute! It's a silent clap, but he claps with his entire body. Arms flailing, body bouncing up and down. He gets so excited. But he also claps at odd times—when nursing, for example. I guess he just thinks my milk is worth applauding.

I think blowing kisses should be his next hand gesture. I've been blowing a lot of kisses his way, but so far he seems unimpressed.

I've also been (rather sporadically) introducing some sign language, and he has yet to use any of those signs either. The main ones I'm working on are "more" and "all done." "Milk" is secondary, mostly because I keep forgetting to use that one (plus it's harder for him to see me sign something when he's nursing).

I just love seeing him learn all these new things. It's so amazing to see what he's picking up on when I don't even notice it. I just love that kid.

Ten-Month Stats? Already?

2011-01-21T20:55:00.000-06:00

At ten months, Milo is approximately 27.5 inches long and 19 and a half pounds.

At ten months, Milo is a bouncy, happy baby.

At ten months, Milo throws his head back to laugh.

At ten months, Milo has started cruising around the furniture, though still quite tentatively.

At ten months, Milo once stood unassisted for about five solid seconds before slowing easing himself into a sitting position.

At ten months, Milo hasn't had any ear infections in the last month. I am a fan of the tubes.

At ten months, Milo's hair is long enough to get mussed when he lays on it.

At ten months, that hair looks kind of reddish brown, maybe...?? It's still thin.

At ten months, Milo loves jumping and will readily bend his knees for bouncing time.

At ten months, Milo's favorite toys are the little yellow spoon that came with a kitchen set, balls, and the wooden blocks from Stephanie.

At ten months, Milo plays lots of little games, including "stick out your tongue until Mama laughs," "drop Cheerios onto the floor," "bang my hands against my head," and "make a sound when Mama taps on my open mouth to make the sound wobble."

At ten months, Milo has two teeth!

At ten months (or probably any age), teething is a bitch. Seriously, why didn't anyone warn me about this?

At ten months, Milo opens his mouth for Ibuprofin and Orajel, but refuses to eat any solid foods. This has been going on for almost a week, and we're starting to get worried, despite having already been to the doctor and told that nothing is wrong.

At ten months, Milo's weight is close to 20 pounds, but he may be losing some due to the aforementioned lack of eating.

At ten months, Milo might be self-weaning, as he is nursing less and less and for the last couple of evenings, wouldn't even nurse before bed. Perhaps this is part of teething? I hope so; I'm desperately not ready for him to wean yet.

At ten months, Andrew and I hate teething. The only positive side effect of teething (other than ending up with teeth) is that the pain makes Milo ultra snuggly. He will sleep in my arms like he did when he was tiny, and he loves to lay his head on my shoulder or my chest. It is my favorite thing.

At ten months, Milo has learned to wave "hi" and "bye-bye" but still needs a little prompting.

At ten months, Milo's "vocabulary" is quite large and I couldn't even begin to tell you all the sounds he makes. He's constantly getting better at making those noises sound like real speech, with the same intonations and whatnot. To my delight, he's back into saying "mama" and sometimes just "mom." His vowel sounds range is expanding, too.

At ten months, Milo is looking more and more like a little boy and less like a baby. When I see him standing there, holding onto the coffee table or some other thing, he just looks enormous.

At ten months, Milo is starting to seem too big for his car seat. But we don't have a convertible one yet, so we'll keep using this one awhile longer. He's awfully heavy to carry around, though.

At ten months, Milo has mastered the sippy cup. He has managed to drink from a straw a couple of times, too, but it may have been a fluke.

At ten months, Milo still flips around and doesn't like to lay still for diaper changes.

At ten months, Milo has basically outgrown all his six-month clothing. He can wear some 6-9 months, 9 months, and 12 month clothing. He has a couple things that are 18 months, one of which sort of fits. We could really use more clothing that is 12 months and up. Pjs and long-sleeved onesies especially. If anyone's interested.

At ten months, I am down to baby weight minus five pounds.

At ten months, I have days where I feel so exhausted I just want to cry. And I'm so grateful to have family around to help out. And I'm so grateful for a husband who washes all the dishes.

At ten months, I have begun planning Milo's first birthday party. Milo is practically one year old. Can you even believe that?

Ahh, Motherhood

2011-01-15T22:03:00.001-06:00

Today I changed two poopy diapers, one of which involved a new outfit and the need to wipe poop off Milo's back and shoulder. Today I was peed on. Today I rinsed vomit out of my hair. Today I changed my shirt because there was medicine on it--medicine that had been in Milo's tummy just moments before.

But today I snuggled my exhausted baby. And today my baby laughed and laughed--at nothing, like when the pen dropped from Daddy's hand--even though I know he wasn't feeling well. And even with all those fluids, it was a lovely, lovely day.

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Teeth: the remix

2011-01-14T13:31:00.004-06:00

Well. Remember that one time when I thought Milo totally had a tooth but then crazily enough it turned out he did not have a tooth? No? Let me refresh your memory. One time I thought Milo had a tooth but then crazily enough it turned out he did not have a tooth.

But now! Now he does have a tooth! And I'm really certain of it this time. It has been confirmed by at least three other people, all of whom have stuck their fingers into my baby's mouth to feel around for said tooth. And they all have said with a certain amount of authority, "Oh, yes, I can DEFINITELY feel a tooth. What a sharp little nugget!" (Can you believe they all said "nugget"?) The tooth was first discovered last Tuesday, January 4. I've been waiting to mention it because of December's toothtastrophe. I needed confirmation from unaffiliated parties. But I have sufficient evidence, so hooray for teeth! And chewing!

(BTW, it's on the bottom, right center. Milo's right. Someone should really make me a tooth chart, like someone made that one time. (ahem))

I don't want to get your hopes (or mine) up, but there is something else. There just might actually be TWO teeth in that little gummy mouth. This morning as I poked around, I am pretty sure I felt two teeth, right next to one another. But that silly Milo wouldn't open his mouth to show me, even though I asked nicely.

Musings on "Jagged Little Pill"

2011-01-06T20:17:00.003-06:00

Alanis Morissette's "Jagged Little Pill" was the first album that I ever felt moved by and loved. It was released in 1995. I was in seventh grade, squarely in the middle of puberty and out-of-control hormones. Yesterday I heard "Hand In My Pocket" on the radio and the memories of this album came flooding back. Let me share them with you.

I asked for and received the album for Christmas in 1995. I have no idea where I heard about Alanis Morissette or why I wanted this music at the time. Maybe I'd heard her first single on the radio? Don't know. Anyway, Christmas of 1995 was spent with my Uncle Bob and Aunt Kathy in their (super cold) South Dakota home. I remember I got the album that Christmas for two reasons: 1) I took a photo of all my Christmas loot, and I can clearly picture the album cover laid out on the carpet, along with a pair of fruit-patterned tights, among other things; and 2) I recall sitting in a room by myself, listening to the music over the stereo, when my Uncle Bob walked into the room during "Hand In My Pocket." He entered the room just in time to catch the line "I'm brave but I'm chickenshit" and he totally called me on it. "Did she just say 'chickenshit'?" he asked, laughing. My cheeks burned bright red from embarrassment to think that someone in my family heard me listening to something that had a cuss word in it! What if Bob told my mom?!? Shit! I mean, shoot!

For reasons I cannot recall, my best friend Emily and I decided to lip-synch to "You Oughta Know." But it wasn't just any lip-synching. We did that thing where we painted a nose and eyes on our chins, then flipped upside down and covered our real nose and eyes, creating a weird little face with an oddly large mouth. Then we performed the song for Emily's mom. Obviously. With such lyrics as "Would she go down on you in a theater?" and "Are you thinking of me when you f**k her?" I'm not sure why we WOULDN'T sing it for one of our mothers.

An example of upside-down singing for you. Nice, right?

Someone once pointed out to me that the last lyrics in "Hand In My Pocket" were "hailing a taxicab." Not sure why anyone thought this was worth mentioning, but for whatever reason, it stuck with me. Even now when I hear this song, I still think about that.

When I found out that the song "You Oughta Know" was probably written about Dave Coulier, I was shocked. SHOCKED. Uncle Joey? What?

The song "Head Over Feet" used to be "our song" to my high school boyfriend and me. Even after we broke up, some of the lyrics still fit our relationship: "It's all your fault."

I was intensely irritated by the fact that all my classmates seemed to think that the things mentioned in the song "Ironic" were actually ironic. They weren't. They were mostly just a bunch of unfortunate instances of rotten luck.

I hate making resolutions.

2011-01-05T16:10:00.002-06:00

But this year, I actually have a couple of them. And in order to help keep me accountable, I will share them here with you.

In typical New-Year's-resolution fashion, I want to lose weight. (More weight, that is, on top of the 40 pounds I've already lost since Milo was born.) Twelve pounds, to be exact. This will get me back to my college/living-in-New-York/wedding weight. And I will be satisfied with this weight.
I want to decorate our bedroom. I absolutely hate it right now, and I have lots of ideas to decorate it. Unfortunately, these decorating plans of mine all cost money. But this is the year I no longer want to just live with the room I hate. I want to make it a place I love to be, rather than just a place I sleep in. I'm thinking navy, light gray, butter yellow, and crisp white...

One cute story and another first

2010-12-28T19:43:00.002-06:00

Right after I finished nursing Milo yesterday (post-boob but pre-shirt down), Milo was sitting in my lap, and he turned toward me, leaned over, and blew a raspberry on my belly. So hilariously cute.

Milo climbed up his first stairstep. We were at the ski rental shop, and they had a couple of steps there. They were deeper than most staircases, so I think that made it easier for Milo to get up. But he bent his knee and pulled himself up completely on his own. Wow. I thought we were a long way from climbing stairs.

Ear Update

2010-12-23T11:01:00.001-06:00

Milo's surgery went well. We arrived at the surgery center at 6:30 this morning; we left around 8:30. Fluid was sucked out, tubes were put in.

Milo was a little fussy afterward, but I suspect it was more from hunger than anything. I nursed him, and he ate well. And we were ready to go home.

When we got home, he was in a fantastic mood. He was smiling and bouncing and crawling around like he always does. Right now he's napping in Grandma Susan's arms. I'd say he's doing just fine.

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More About the Tubes

2010-12-22T14:45:00.001-06:00

Last Thursday we sought a second opinion on Milo's ear infection situation and went to an ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat doctor). The doctor checked Milo's ears and told us that he has what they (affectionately, I'm sure) call "glue ear." It means that the fluid has been unable to drain in his ears and has accumulated for so long that it has become thick and gluey. This kind of mucousy fluid is unlikely to drain and will probably continue to become infected.

We also learned that Milo's hearing is being affected by all this fluid, and that he probably has about a 40 percent reduction in his hearing. So that sucks, and may explain why he no longer seems to know his name. I hate that Milo can't hear. How can a little guy learn to speak or begin to understand what we're talking about if he can't hear properly?

Combine the hearing loss with the "unlikely to drain" comment with the fact that I don't want Milo on antibiotics for the next four months, and we had our answer. Milo was going to get tubes. The doctor went over everything with us, explaining the procedure, the recovery, and what having tubes would mean for future care. It was all pretty straightforward. In spite of his pediatrician's hesitation, we were ready to move forward.

Of course, we saw the pediatrician the next day and after discussing the fluid in his ears, Milo's sleeping and eating habits, and the fact that Milo is on the low-end of the growth charts, the pediatrician actually said that getting tubes was probably a good thing for Milo, especially considering that it is still so early in the winter cold/flu season.

This made us feel much better about getting the surgery. We are hoping that we come home with a new and improved baby. (Okay, not a new baby, just an improved one.) I think Milo may start sleeping better. He might have an improved appetite (important for gaining weight). I think he will quit getting ear infections. And I know he'll be able to hear us.

I'm still nervous about taking my baby in for surgery, but I'm confident that we're doing the best thing for him. Surgery is tomorrow morning at 7:30am. Wish us well!

9 Months Old... The Stats

2010-12-21T21:22:00.003-06:00

Milo had his nine-month check-up on Friday. Here are the official stats.

Weight: 17 lbs., 1 oz. (5th percentile)
Length: 27 in. (20th percentile)
Head Circumference: 13 3/4 in. (50th percentile)*

*I'm not so sure about this one... at his six-month check-up, his head measured 17 1/2 inches.

At nine months, Milo is a funny, sweet, silly little boy.

At nine months, Milo is a good eater and will sometimes just keep shoveling food in his mouth until we take the food away. He still doesn't like peas, though. Also not a fan of pureed zucchini and summer squash. And, surprisingly, he doesn't care for applesauce.

At nine months, Milo is transitioning to eating mostly table foods. He's into turkey/vegetable soup, pasta, carrots, butternut squash, mango, peaches, banana, yogurt, ground beef, buttered rolls, mozzarella cheese, cheddar cheese, hard-boiled and scrambled egg yolk, pizza crust, chicken, broccoli-cheese soup, potato-cheese soup, and, I'm sure, much much more.

At nine months, Milo is getting really good at picking up food and getting it all the way to his mouth. His pincer grasp is improving all the time.

At nine months, in spite of being a great eater, Milo is not gaining enough weight and has dropped a lot on the growth charts. We're weighing the options in terms of how to fatten him up, from adding butter to all his veggies to feeding him cheese and meat, to supplementing with formula. (More on this topic to come.)

At nine months, Milo continues to babble. He gets sort of stuck on a single sound and repeats it over and over. This month, it was first "da da da" (to my dismay, he would not say "mama") and now it is a raspberry sort of sound, where he blows his spit all over everything.

At nine months, Milo explores his world. He is a fast crawler now, and goes after anything he sees that looks appealing.

At nine months, Milo pulls up to standing on just about anything. He uses his mouth to help him pull up, too. Picture a baby sucking on the edge of the coffee table, his little butt sticking out behind him as he tries to twist himself into an upright position. Pretty cute.

At nine months, Milo is over Sophie the Giraffe.

At nine months, Milo is over his little pink lotion bottle.

At nine months, Milo has started grabbing onto the framed prints that hang on the wall above the changing table. Not good.

At nine months, Milo twists and turns during diaper changes. Did you know that it is difficult to snap a diaper onto a baby who is on his hands and knees?

At nine months, Milo is still addicted to his pacifier. I'm already dreading the day we have to take that one away.

At nine months, Milo STILL has no teeth. And I STILL can't believe it. There was a tooth! I saw it! But somehow it just went away. Hmmm.

At nine months, Milo walks and walks, if he's holding on to someone's hands. He has pretty good balance. I predict his first solo steps are—nope. Not going to make any predictions (see: teeth).

At nine months, Milo has stood unassisted for a couple of seconds at a time. I think he falls when he realizes he isn't holding on to anything.

At nine months, Milo does not cruise around the furniture. He just pulls himself up and stands there. Sometimes he bounces, but no sideways movement.

At nine months, Milo has been in the world longer than he was in my belly.

At nine months, Milo pokes at my face and taps my nose and grabs onto my mouth when he's nursing. He'll pause from nursing, look up at me, smile, and start trying to reach into my mouth. I nibble his fingers and tickle his side and he giggles. It's our little game.

At nine months, Milo does not like to be set down when we get home in the evenings. He cries and cries until he's picked up again.

At nine months, Milo enjoys the lights on the Christmas tree. He also likes watching the Little Mermaid ornament that plays music and spins around.

At nine months, Milo is fascinated by this little tabletop Christmas tree decoration that spins, lights up, and plays "Oh Christmas Tree" or "Carol of the Bells" when you push the button. He stares at it, then slaps his hand on the table when it stops, indicating that he would like to hear it again, please.

At nine months, Milo sticks his hand in his mouth when he smiles and giggles. It's too bad; we rarely see his full smile.

At nine months, Milo throws his head back—to check out the ceiling, when he laughs, when he is unhappy—doesn't really matter. The boy just likes to stretch out his neck, I guess.

At nine months, Milo has such a sweet little voice. I just want to bottle it up and take a whiff whenever I'm having a bad day.

At nine months, Milo has big, beautiful blue eyes.

At nine months, we still can't really tell what color Milo's hair is. I thought it was darkening up, but just a couple days ago it looked really light in the sun. I don't think it's red at all anymore.

At nine months, Milo lights up when he sees me. That is the happy face I will lock into my memory and picture forever. It's pure joy and it makes me feel so good.

At nine months, I love LOVE snuggling with my baby. Milo is a great snuggler, too. When he's tired, he just collapses into me and rests his head on my shoulder.

At nine months, Milo loves bouncing. Jumping up and down while holding him? Guaranteed smiles.

At nine months, Milo still struggles with napping at daycare. If he sleeps an hour there, it's a triumph. Frustrating, because he often takes a two-hour nap on the weekends.

At nine months, I've gotten more baby snot on my clothes than I care to think about. Milo still has a constant cold and snotty nose. We spray saline up his nose after almost every diaper change.

At nine months, Milo has a diaper rash that comes and goes and comes and goes (but never really goes away all together). If anyone has tips, we'd love to hear them. But believe me, we've already tried just about everything.

At nine months, Milo has had two more ear infections and two more antibiotics. He'll be getting tubes in two days. More on this in another post.

At nine months, Milo rarely sleeps through the night. I can't tell if he wakes up and cries because his ears hurt or because he knows we'll come in and hang out for a bit.

At nine months, I'm exhausted all the time. I've never had such dark circles under my eyes before, and I don't find it very becoming.

At nine months, I have lost all the baby weight and then some. Thirteen pounds to go to get to my goal weight.

At nine months, Andrew is an amazing dad. Milo loves him and loves playing with him.

At nine months, we are finally settling into our roles in our little family of three. Andrew is the bather and dishwasher; I am the feeder and diaper washer; Milo is the smiler, the pooper, the cryer, the open-mouth kisser, and the light of our lives.

A Breakthrough

2010-12-16T14:45:00.001-06:00

Yesterday evening I got a call from my trainer, Scott. He said he wasn’t feeling well and would have to cancel our session that night.

And you know what? I felt disappointed.

Never before have I been told that I would no longer be working out as planned and felt anything other than unadulterated joy. But maybe—just maybe—working out regularly for the past five months or so has finally flipped a switch in me. Could it be that I miss exercising when I have to miss exercising? Or does it just make me write confusing sentences?

Milo's First Stocking

2010-12-14T21:38:00.001-06:00

1:15pm - Survey crafting area. Hmmm. Lots of baby stuff.

1:16pm - Much better.

Ready for The Stocking Slash Crafting Event 2010. But wait—something's missing...

1:18pm - Ambience. I'm missing ambience.

1:25pm - Uh oh, baby's awake and he's coming this wa1zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzRRRRRRTttg

1:26pm - Must move ambience. It is a choking hazard.

1:36pm - Daddy came for baby. Where was I? Oh, right. Stocking. Must gather supplies.

1:38pm - Begin tracing existing stocking. So far so good.

1:43pm - Tracing complete. Now where did I put that candy? I mean, ambience.

1:45pm - Size check. Looks just right for this little guy's first Christmas.

1:49pm - Milo back. Decide to not stop him from hitting the keyboard and instead grab camera.

1:50pm - Decide to not delete Milo's first typing. He is brilliant, no?

A!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~AQq ``````````````````````````````````````````````AWQQQQQQ W A `11111AXQAW

1:52pm - Pins: good idea or not? Will try pins.

2:17pm - Ack, the distractions! Finished nursing Milo. Time to get back to business.

2:18pm - Must move cat first.

2:20pm - Ready to cut!

2:22pm - Zadie watches. More cat sabotage in store?

2:26pm - Cat attacks! Why does she hate Christmas so?

2:31pm - Two pieces of felt, ready to become a stocking.

2:31:30 - Note the time. Wonder how come crafting takes so long.

2:40pm - Turn pieces inside out so red outline won't show.

2:41pm - Damn. It shows. Attempt to trim it off.

2:42pm - Give up. Decide red outline gives the stocking holiday ambience.

2:42:30pm - Speaking of ambience...

2:48pm - Gluing going well. Last time there was hot glue. This time tacky glue. People who craft, tell me: which is the better choice? Maybe the sewing-machine type of glue is really best. But I don't know how to use that kind.

2:56pm - Gluing complete. Taking a quick timeout to play with Milo.

7:30pm - Well. Back to work. Break was longer than expected.

7:31pm - Survey crafting area. Hmm. Lots of baby stuff.

7:32pm - Much better. Ready for The Stocking Slash Crafting Event 2010, Part 2. But wait—something's missing... Ambience.

7:35pm - Determine ribbon arrangement. Not a lot of options, really.

7:38pm - Cut ribbons. Prepare to glue.

7:54pm - Sigh. Ribbons not staying put.

8:02pm - Jeebus. Ribbons finally attached. Crossing fingers that they stay put.

8:09pm - Ribbons all falling off. Determine hot glue is the way to go for this type of project.

8:10pm - Ask self once again why I ever attempt crafty projects.

8:19pm - Begin tedious work of cutting out letters.

8:29pm - Ready to do some ironing and take this project to a whole new level.

8:33pm - Feeling lazy. Decide to let glue fully dry and finish this project tomorrow.

9:25pm TWO WEEKS LATER - Finished stocking, like, forever ago. Forgot to take any more photos. Please enjoy this slightly blurry photo of all three completed stockings.

I swear, I thought I was telling the tooth.

2010-12-12T21:11:00.003-06:00

(Wow. That's a lame post title.)

So you know how I was all excited about Milo's new tooth? Well. He doesn't actually have a tooth. I wouldn't have guessed that there could POSSIBLY be any ambiguity regarding teeth, but I guessed wrong.

It seems that the tooth I saw was still below the surface of his gums. I could see it, but it had not "popped through," per se. I'm sure that one of these days he'll get teeth. I can't be wrong forever, after all.

Sorry to get you all excited. I appreciate your enthusiasm, and I will attempt to quit crying wolf in the future.

Finally!

2010-12-06T18:51:00.001-06:00

Milo's first tooth popped through today! Very exciting stuff. And now we have an explanation for last night's excessive crying.

In case it matters, the tooth is on the bottom, in the middle. I can't even tell if it is on his left or right. Much like the color of Milo's hair, we'll just have to wait and see.

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Would you like to hear more about my baby's health?

2010-11-30T10:29:00.003-06:00

On Saturday Milo began pulling at his ears. He also had a raspy cough. I thought, if he’s still tugging at his ears tomorrow, I’ll take him to the doctor Monday morning.

On Sunday, he still pulled at his ears. He was even so intent on his ears that he was distracted from nursing—very unusual. I decided that yes, I would take him to his pediatrician’s walk-in hours Monday morning. Better to get it checked out than wonder if I was missing another ear infection.

But then I sort of talked myself out of it. After all, he was in a great mood, and he didn’t have a fever or anything. Plus, I had my PT appointment Monday morning and couldn’t get him to walk-in hours anyway. So I made a deal with myself. If he slept super poorly Sunday night, I’d call the doc in the morning and get him in sometime Monday. If he slept well, I wouldn’t take him to the doctor.

And guess what? He slept through the night for the first time in months. He slept solidly, from 7:20pm to 6:00am.

I went to work, Milo went to daycare, and all was well.

Until 1:00 when I got a call from daycare saying Milo had a fever.

Damn.

A couple hours later we had our diagnosis: another double ear infection. However, since he’s only been off antibiotics for six days, our pediatrician surmised that this was still part of the last round of ear infections, that just never fully cleared up. Sigh.

Milo is now on his third (or second, if you count this as part of the last ear infection) bout of ear infections in two and a half months. He is on his fourth antibiotic. He’s just the saddest little bundle of snot you can imagine.

I did ask about getting tubes, as I hear nothing but good things. But he is still too young for that, and they typically don’t consider tubes until a kid has had four ear infections in a season. And the first six months of daycare are the worst. The doctor said we just have to make it through these six months, and he will probably start to get better. It was reassuring, but still—six months solid of feeling crappy all the time?

I wish I’d trusted my instincts. For the first time, I really felt like something was wrong that needed to get checked out. I just knew he had another ear infection. But I let myself get talked out of taking him to the doctor. Andrew wasn’t convinced Milo was really sick, we both had work, and I wasn’t able to come up with solid evidence that he needed medical attention. It was mostly a feeling. But I was right. And if I’d trusted myself a little more and gotten him to the doctor a little sooner, Milo might never have even gotten the fever.

There’s always next time, right? We’ve still got almost four months to go before we’re out of the ear-infection zone.

Sick? Who, me? I iz all better nao. Lets play.