LOST: 1 bottle of moisturizer, white w/ black lid. Smooths skin, minimizes pores. Best moisturizer I’ve ever had, with price tag to match. Stolen from bathroom counter late Sunday night. Suspect is black and gold, about 12 inches high, with pointy ears and long whiskers. Despite ferocious petting, suspect refuses to talk. If you have any information that could lead to the arrest of suspect, please call 1-800-DUMB-CAT.
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