My 15 Minutes

There is an open editor position on my team at work, and I have been able to sit in on some of the interviews and meet with the candidates. Earlier this week, I went in to meet with a woman who was interviewing for the position. I shook her hand and introduced myself. Her eyes got big, and she said "Oh my gosh, Megan Langford! I am so excited to meet you! I've seen your name everywhere! Oh, wow, it's like a brush with celebrity!"

I kid you not. She said those things. I just laughed and said I was hardly a celebrity.

I have to admit though, it was awesome to have somebody recognize my name. I'm sure it wasn't so much that she is a Hallmark Books Superfan or anything, but more that she has been doing her research to prep for the interview. And I have written a fair number of books at this point. But still, I never think of myself as a big famous author or anything. It's fun to write books, but it's part of my job, you know? (But I love that I have a fan.)

Be a Part of the Story

I'd like to introduce to you the project that has consumed me at work for the last year and a half. It's my "super-secret project," the "next big thing," and the work accomplishment I am most proud of. (It has only just shipped, so we are only beginning to see sales—but I'm so confident, I am going to go ahead and count my chickens.)

It's Hallmark's latest and greatest, the Be a Part of the Story Interactive Storybook. We are launching with three titles; the Christmas book, A Visit to the North Pole, is the very first to get to market. These books are very cool. They use "I Reply" voice recognition technology. When a parent reads certain phrases aloud, the main character speaks directly to your child with a question or comment about the story. The child's response triggers an appropriate response from the character. The experience is truly magical—for kids and parents.

In addition to the Santa story, we have two everyday books. I edited All Aboard, a superfun train story that I can't wait to share with Milo. A coworker of mine developed A Day at Fairy Grandmother's, which is full of surprises and silliness.

If you have kids ages 3–6(ish), I encourage you to buy one (or all) of these books. I honestly don't think you'll be disappointed.

How can it be time already?

I go back to work tomorrow. I can hardly believe it. I bet if I looked at a post back around September 20, 2010, I'd be able to copy and paste it here, because I am feeling (almost) exactly the same way I did then. (Then being the day I went back to work after maternity leave with Milo.)

I'm ready. I'm not ready. I'm excited to be back among adults and people who have conversation skills. I'm going to miss my sweet girl so, so much. How can I make it through an entire day without smooching her soft cheeks? How can I stand being away from those dimples? What will I do without her giggle and sweet smile? Those big eyes and toothless grin?

This time is a little different for me. I have more confidence in her care. I have less guilt, because I know I'm a better mom for working. But still... Will she know I'm coming back? Will she miss me? Will she do okay with her schedule thrown off?

In a way, all the car stress of the last week was a good thing, because it kept my mind off my impending return to work. But mostly it was bad, because I didn't get to enjoy my last few days at home. Today's the last day, and I'm trying to make the most of it. Extra snuggles, extra kisses. And I'm trying to cement the image of Olive's big blue eyes looking right at me so I remember these moments forever.

Getting close?

Today I am two days away from my due date. A certain someone who shares my DNA was born two days before his due date. So clearly today ought to be the day. But so far, no dice.

Things have been rough in the Langford household lately. Milo spent the better part of the week sick. Throwing up and feeling extra sleepy (except at night, obviously). Good for cuddles, not good for our stress levels. I've had a cold, and so has Andrew, but we have avoided the stomach bug, it seems. I've spent more than one evening in absolute misery, crying while every single part of my body ached. Convinced that I could not be pregnant another night.

Every night I'm up multiple times for bathroom trips and leg cramps. Oh my god, the leg cramps. After the months of nausea and vomiting, they're my least favorite part of pregnancy. "Get your sleep now," random people say. Shut it, I think. I'd much rather be awake nursing a baby several times a night than up peeing and whimpering in leg-cramp pain several times a night.

Today is my last day at work. That's for the best, as I am completely unable to focus for more than five minutes at a time. I cannot tell you how many times I've had the same conversation at work. It goes something like this:
Other person: You still here?
Me: Yep, still here.
Other person: When are you due?
Me: Sunday.
Other person: Oh wow, so soon!
Me: I know, any day now!

It's really happening, though. Hard as it is to believe, I will go into labor at some point and end up with a baby. A baby girl, my daughter. I will soon be a mommy of two, and my son will be a big brother—the oldest child rather than the only child. I'll see my husband turn into a father all over again, and I'll fall in love with him all over again.

Soon. Very soon.

Moving Day!

My department at work is moving to a new area of the building. Sad for me. Goodbye, natural light. I'll miss you!

All my stuff, boxed and ready to move.

My nearly empty cube, just waiting to shut down for the day and await the mysterious overnight installation crew to move it all down the hall.

The Latest Hallmark Recordable Storybook

Here's the most recent Recordable Storybook I edited. This one jumped straight to #2 out of all our books (only behind our Disney Cars Recordable Storybook, which has the support of the movie to give it an extra boost), and I predict it'll do well for a long time. Go check it out. Perfect for all the little princesses in your life!

Image from Hallmark.com

FREE!

I am giving away some Very Fine Art to some lucky readers. I bought six of these prints in Hallmark's Double D (for "double discount") shop awhile back, thinking I could replace the watercolors with something different and just use the frames. But in the end, we decided to go a different route with our design plan (and the frames weren't quite as easy to reuse as I hoped).

They're great frames, very high quality. As you'll see in the corner sticker, these originally retailed for $45. And the art isn't so bad, though it's not my style. If my company's policy would allow it, I'd try to sell them. But that could get me fired, so instead I shall give them away.

Each frame measures 15.5" x 18", with the mat opening 8.5" x 11". If you want one (or more) of these fine beauties, just let me know in the comments. Local readers preferred, as I don't particularly want to ship it to you.

Funny You Should Ask

Why, yes, that is LL Cool J posing with one of Hallmark's Recordable Storybooks. And not just any Recordable Storybook, but the pretty pink one called My Little Princess.

Awww...

photo pulled from the Hallmark intranet site

Worst Baby Book Ever

I miss posting on this blog. I really would like to share more with all my loyal readers. (Hi, Readers! Sorry about the lack of content! I hope you still like me!!!!1exclam!!1) But I have been uninspired lately. I'm super busy at work, it's been very wintry outside, the chores never end, and... I don't really have any good reasons. (Unless you count how Andrew began P90X a few weeks ago and has been using my computer to view his workout nearly every evening, making blogging much more difficult.) And I know I'm doing that thing I used to do in college, where I just sort of shut down when the list of things to do (or in this case, write about) got so long and overwhelming that it seemed impossible to catch up on. So I put it off until the last minute. In college, the last minute was the due date or final. In blogging, I don't have that safety net. I can ignore this thing eternally.

But I don't want to do that. I want this blog to serve as Milo's baby book and my back-up memory. I want it to be my phone calls with long-distance family and friends, and my hi-how-are-you notes to the people I care about. So I promise to keep trying, keep writing, and keep sharing photos of my adorable baby. Because I know that's all you're here for, anyway.

Tonight I give you a few short updates/random thoughts.

• I've been in a decorating mood lately. I'm working on our office, the master bedroom, the dining room, and the future playroom (but only sort of half-assed on the playroom). The office is looking fantastic, and I have so many ideas for our bedroom I'm bursting.
• I have successfully given away a bunch of weights using the website ReUseItKC.com (or something; it was a yahoo group) and I would like to get rid of more stuff. Which reminds me: Jeff, if you would still like that rustic-looking wooden thing with the mirror and the coat hooks, it's all yours. You can pick it up whenever you like. Thanks.
• Milo shakes his head "no" ALL THE TIME. I am not convinced he fully understands what "no" means, but he does use the head shake to turn down food, refuse a nose-wipe, request a different game, and indicate that he is done with dinner.
• I would like a bed from Ikea. The Edland four-poster bed. If anyone would like to get one for me and bring it to me, I would like that very much.
• I stripped our cloth diapers today with a little Dawn dish soap, some nearly boiling water, and a whole bunch of rinses. Cross your fingers that they quit leaking. And to all the ladies at daycare, please quit using Desitin with our cloth diapers!
• The voice-recognition product I spent months working on a year and a half ago has made it to Hallmark stores, and it's selling really well. I'm quite proud of it, actually, so please go check out the new Interactive Storybook & Story Buddy from Hallmark. Cooper the Bear and Watson the Raccoon are both available, and they're both really fun and cute.
• Milo's first birthday is just around the corner, and I am going with a robot theme. I wanted to make a robot cake, but since I'm no pastry chef, I thought it best to practice. Well. This weekend I attempted my first cake, and, well, Robot Cake = FAIL. I am now considering a hopefully much simpler Rice Krispie treat robot. That doesn't sound too hard, does it? Of course, I didn't think the cake would be that hard, either...
• We ordered two convertible car seats this weekend. Milo is just way too big to keep carrying around in that infant seat. Technically, he can go in it until he's 30 pounds, but a) he's heavy enough in that seat at 20 pounds, and b) he's very close to maxing out the height. So time for a new seat. The seat that sounded great online is not available in any local stores, so I ordered it sight unseen. Hope we like it.
• My weight loss is not going well, as of late. I keep eating like crap, and the scale is reflecting it. It sucks and makes me mad at myself.
• I have a confession to make: We pay people to clean our house. There, I said it. I've been feeling inadequate because I hardly ever clean anything, and lazy because I don't want to spend my short amount of free time cleaning, and awful because good moms probably vacuum occasionally or something. I didn't want to admit that we can't even keep our own house clean so I have hardly told anyone that we got a housecleaning service. But the silence ends now. And for the record, I totally recommend paying someone to clean your home. It's much nicer than cleaning it yourself.
• My husband has spectacular legs. When he does his P90X ab workout, his shorts slide up when he does reverse crunches and such, and let me tell you, those are some nice legs he's showing off.

Come on, guys. Is putting a napkin on my head really necessary?

Okay, I admit it, that was kind of fun. Again?

When it rains...

Things that have happened in the last two weeks:

• Milo got pinkeye.
• Milo had clogged tear ducts.
• Milo had ear infections in both ears.
• Milo threw up eight times in three hours (two nights before traveling).
• Milo and I flew to Washington, D.C., where Milo burped up his entire meal the first night, leaving me without any pj's and him without a sleep sack for the rest of the trip.
• Milo forgot how to poop, and seriously, four days is just too long to go without pooping.
• Milo spent half the flight back from D.C. crying, making me want to cry as well.
• Still reeling from my maternity leave and lack of a paycheck, we carried a balance on our credit card for the first time and had to get a cash advance from the bank when our checking account went into the negative.
• My car battery died, leaving me desperately calling around, trying to a) get someone to pick up Milo, and b) get someone to take me home.
• I fell further behind on my projects at work due to spending half a day trying to get my car fixed.
• My boobs began holding my milk hostage, refusing to let me pump the amount I know Milo needs.
• I dropped one of the bottles of pumped milk as I was putting it into my cooler bag, and it broke.
• Milo hasn't taken a decent nap in weeks, and is tired and cranky by the time he gets home in the evening, and it makes me so sad to only have fussy time with him each night.

Figuring it all out

My life is very different than it was a week ago. I'm about to wrap up my first week back at work, and I almost kinda sorta feel like I belong there. It's so weird, being gone so long then coming back. In some ways, I feel like I know what's going on and it all feels familiar. In other ways, I feel like a brand-new employee just starting a job. And I'm definitely still figuring out my new routine.

I haven't yet figured out how ungodly early I have to get up in order to get Milo where he needs to be and get to work by 8:00 or 8:30. And of course, it's a bonus if I get to eat breakfast, wash my hair, and spend a few minutes of quality time with my baby. I used to wake up fairly late in order to get to work at 9:00, but now that I'm pumping three times a day, I don't exactly have extra time built into my schedule. Sigh. As you probably well know, I have never been much of a morning person. However, in my opinion, it is much easier to wake up early after not sleeping through the night for months at a time. It's all about building up stamina, I suppose.

(Speaking of sleeping through the night, Milo is doing that now. Pretty consistently, too. For most of the last week or week and a half, he has been in bed by 7:30 or so and doesn't wake up until sometime between 5:30 and 6:30. It's spectacular.)

My coworkers decorated my cube for my return. There was a big "welcome back" banner, streamers, confetti, candy, and stick-on mustaches. It was awesome and made me feel very welcome. They even printed out a couple photos of Milo and posted them outside the cube. I appreciate those photos especially because I haven't gotten my act together enough to print out any photos of the boy yet. My workspace is definitely lacking without them.

Surprisingly, I don't really miss Milo during the day. Does that make me a terrible mother? I feel extremely guilty for not missing him. Maybe it's just because I anticipated that I would be so sad and emotional all day at work that the reality of it couldn't possibly meet my expectations? Or maybe I was ready to return to work and ready for a little break from the all day every day mothering thing? I don't know. I do love to see him at the end of the day. I love squeezing him tight and getting sloppy kisses on my shoulder. I love seeing him smile when he sees me come through the daycare door (and I hate how quickly he goes back to playing). But when I'm at work, I get busy and forget to miss him. I am considering deleting this entire paragraph because I am ashamed of myself, but for the sake of sharing my experience (and possibly making it easier for someone else going through this) I will leave it here.

There are a million thoughts swirling through my head about my first few days back at work, but I am feeling too scatterbrained to tell you about them. Just know that I'm happy to be at work and I am ever so aware of just how much I love Milo.

Duty Calls

Because I am back at work, I feel it is my duty as a Hallmarker (and a book editor no less) to share this video with you. And then encourage you to go, go to your local Hallmark store and purchase a Recordable Storybook or two.

The Stats: Six Months Old!

Milo had his six-month check-up yesterday afternoon. Here's how he measures up:

• Weight: 15 lbs., 7 oz. (20th percentile)
• Length: 25 1/2 in. (10th percentile)
• Head Circumference: 17 1/2 in. (75th percentile)

At six months, I can hardly believe my baby is halfway to his first birthday. But on the other hand, it feels like he's been here forever. And on still another hand, I can clearly remember life before Milo and what that was like. But you better believe I wouldn't go back for anything.

At six months, Andrew and I are becoming pretty good parents. We constantly second-guess ourselves and wonder if we're making the best decisions. But so far Milo is turning out pretty well. (Knock on wood, right? It is still a little early to tell how exactly he is turning out.)

At six months, Milo is amazing. He learns new things every day and wows us all the time.

At six months, Milo rolls over like he was born to do it. He immediately rolls over upon being laid in his crib, and (fortunately) has learned to relax and sleep on his belly.

At six months, Milo sleeps primarily on his belly or his side, but he rolls and scoots all over his crib before settling down. We often hear him crying from his room, only to go in and check on him to see his head stuck in the corner of the crib, banging over and over against the rails. He can get there, but he can't quite figure out how to get himself out of there.

At six months, Milo can sit up unassisted. He only flops over when he reaches too far out for something or when he cranes his neck all around to get a good look at something.

At six months, Milo puts everything in his mouth. He especially loves the corners of board books, fingers (his or someone else's), spoons, and blankets or washcloths.

At six months, Milo does not yet have any teeth, though I remain convinced that they are coming any day now.

At six months, Milo gets up on all fours and has been rocking back and forth for a couple weeks now. He also jumps to his hands and feet in the downward dog position. Sometimes his head goes to the floor, too. He also has begun to scoot his knees forward and back, and would be crawling if he could just figure out how to move his hands forward.

At six months, Milo can stretch out and roll and shuffle his way forward when enticed by a toy. He's pretty good and getting to things that are placed a foot or two in front of him.

At six months, Milo will slip and slide backwards infinitely when placed on a hardwood floor, leaving a trail of slobber in his wake.

At six months, Milo babbles a lot. He has said mama quite a few times, and is sometimes so excited about it he says it over and over, like mamamamamama. I'm sure it's because he thinks I am just that special. Of course I kid. He can make the sound, but does not attach it to any particular thing. He also says buhbuhbuh and fuh and other things I can't really spell.

At six months, Milo has begun to interact with us in a new way. He participates in the games we play with him, like reaching out to our hands and giggling when they touch, or anticipating when we are going to appear out of nowhere from around the corner. This makes playtime much more fun.

At six months, Milo still loves his bouncy jumperoo chair. He has explored it all now, I think. It took awhile to make it past the oddly shaped fruit, but now he checks out the strange blue horse and even the striped spring covers.

At six months, Milo can use a high chair in restaurants, thanks to the sewing talents of Grandma Sarah and her cushy chair cover.

At six months, Milo gets bored in restaurant high chairs, and we have learned it is best not to put him in one much before the food arrives.

At six months, Milo has a lot of fun being flipped around and turned upside down. He also likes swinging on Daddy's lap and "flying" toward the mirror.

At six months, Milo can suck up water through a straw, though very little of it gets swallowed.

At six months, Milo started solids. Like a couple of hours ago. Jury's still out on this one. (However, I will say that I think I messed up the food. We gave him rice cereal that I made, and it had a weird consistency. Can anyone tell me what rice cereal is supposed to be like, texture-wise?)

At six months, Milo sometimes splashes in the bath. He loves feeling the water being poured over his chest. He also tries to grab the stream of water and seems amazed when he can't hold on to it.

At six months, Milo—ahem—grabs himself during diaper changes. Occasionally with some enthusiasm. It looks uncomfortable to me, with that iron-fisted grip, but what do I know? We now have to be careful to keep his hands out of the way when he goes #2 or...it's gross. Remember how everything goes in his mouth?

At six months, Milo no longer squeaks when he eats. I think this stopped a long time ago, but I don't recall exactly when. He has also become a much more efficient eater. Whereas it used to take him 30 minutes to finish a meal, he can now down it in 12 or 15. Twenty if he's tired.

At six months, Milo has started daycare. Yesterday was his first day. And I have only called twice to check on him. They say that he seems to be liking it. He smiles and plays and has a good time. It's difficult to be away from him, but I am convinced that daycare will be a good experience for him.

At six months, I have gone back to work. Today was my first day. I'd call it a success.

At six months, Milo is amazing. Did I say that already?

The Time Has Come

I am a mess. An emotional wreck. I alternate between crying and being irrationally angry with Andrew. Milo starts daycare tomorrow, and I head back to work on Tuesday. And even though it's been a full six months—or maybe because it's been a full six months—I'm not ready for this.

Yes, I miss work. I love what I do, and I love my workplace and my coworkers. But how can I leave my baby in the care of people who are, for now, essentially perfect strangers? Of course Milo will have a good time. New toys, new faces to check out. But I like to think that he needs me and will miss me. I know I will miss him. Just typing that makes me tear up, and I'm not even kidding. I knew it would be hard to leave him at daycare, and I also knew that I would definitely be returning to work—no question. Though I knew these things before he was even born, that knowledge hasn't made it any easier now that the time has come.

Earlier tonight I loaded up a bag full of the stuff he'll need at daycare. Two crib sheets, a couple of spare outfits, a bunch of cloth diapers and wipes. I felt like I was packing his bags to send him off forever. And since mornings are going to be spent mostly getting ready and getting out the door, and evenings will consist of a whopping hour and half before Milo's bedtime, I practically am sending him off forever. I feel like I'm never going to see my baby anymore. And that breaks my heart. See you when it's time to start kindergarten, Milo.

I'm sure I'm sounding a little overly dramatic to those of you who have never dropped off your first child at daycare for the first time. But some of you know what I'm saying, right? And some of you have told me that it does get easier, and I can't tell you how much I'm holding on to that thought. You've also told me how wonderful his smile will be when he sees me walk through the door in the evening. I look forward to that, too.

I really, really love that little boy.

Where did this teeny baby go? How can he be six months old already?

Opposites

Some days I love being home with Milo. Other days I loathe it. Some days the time flies by, and we have so much to do that I wish we had just a bit longer before Daddy gets home. Other days I have no idea how to fill the time, and I end up watching the clock and texting Andrew to see if he's on his way home yet.

Part of me wants to stay home with Milo forever. I'd get to watch him grow and change, and I'd never grow tired of hearing him giggle or seeing him smile at me. But part of me can't wait to get back to work. Not only is my part of my identity tied up in being an editor for Hallmark, but I also grow weary of listening to Milo's cries and of being unable to guess what would make him happy.

I know that when I go back to work I'm going to miss this little boy like crazy. Sometimes my heart feels so full of love for him that it literally aches. I can barely imagine what it will be like to be away from him for nine hours a day. But I think that once I am back at work, I will feel complete. I'll feel more useful than I feel now, like I'm accomplishing something and being productive. I'm not sure how I will end up finding a balance between work and home, but I'm confident it will be the right thing for me.

Only six weeks to go until my maternity leave is over. I'm equally dreading it and looking forward to it.

Lots of Good News

1. I'm three centimeters dilated. That means only seven centimeters to go! And I'm not even in labor yet!
2. I managed to NOT have the baby on St. Patrick's Day!
3. The baby feels so low that I'm fairly certain that when I do go into labor, he will pretty much just fall out with a push or two.
4. Today is my last day of work before I go on maternity leave, so I can forget about stressing over all these work details, like books and editing them and such.
5. I got a call from my dear friend Christy this morning, and she and her husband will be moving back to Kansas City in just a couple of weeks. Two weeks! I couldn't be more excited about this.

Recordable Storybook from Hallmark!

The Recordable Storybook from Hallmark is now available! You can check it out here. This is a great new product that I just may have poured a bit of my heart and soul into. So run, don't walk, to your nearest Gold Crown store and get your hands on a copy before they're all gone. And believe me, they will probably sell out this year. Available titles are The Night Before Christmas, All the Ways I Love You, and Bright & Beautiful.

You may call her/him Cupcake.

This post was written on July 28. Bear with me; just a few more entries to go before we're all caught up.

Today I am six weeks pregnant. I had my first doctor’s appointment yesterday, and everything went well. Andrew and I saw a nurse practitioner instead of my regular doctor because my doctor wasn’t available for another four weeks, but the woman we met with was great. She was friendly and said all the right kind of things.

My official due date is March 23. Nerd alert: Andrew hopes Cupcake comes early on March 14 so the birthday will be pi. My next appointment will be in four weeks, and at that appointment, we’ll get to hear the heartbeat. I am very much looking forward to that. It’ll seem so much more real.

Although this pregnancy is definitely starting to feel very real, because I have been very sick. Or maybe not so sick compared to other women, I don’t know. I just don’t feel 100 percent. It’s a hard thing to describe. I’m exhausted. I’m nauseous, and don’t want to eat much, yet I’m hungry all the time. All day long I just feel off, like hollow and achy and I just want to lie down. This morning was the first day I actually threw up, and that was not fun. I threw up twice this morning, the second the kind of vomit that actually comes out your mouth and your nose. So gross. But I had to get to work, so I managed to get dressed, and I took a plastic trashcan with me in the car, and I think you can guess why that might have been necessary. But I got to work fine, and even made it through the whole day.

I haven’t been exercising as much as I want to. It’s so hard, struggling to make it through the workday. I just want to eat whatever I can put together the fastest, then lay on the couch and do nothing. I did go for a 45-minute walk after work today. It wasn’t fast, but I’m glad I got out of the house for awhile.

In the evenings, after dinner, I usually start to finally feel better, almost normal even. Except for the tiredness. But it sucks, because just when I’m starting to feel okay, it’s time for bed, and I know that when I wake up I’m going to feel terrible. Mornings are by far the worst for me. I’ve been sort of late to work practically every day, and if the throwing up continues, I don’t think that’s going to improve. I wonder if I’ll have to end up telling my manager at work that I’m pregnant before I wanted to if I end up being sick and late all the time. Plus, I’m finding it very hard to concentrate on anything, and I’m afraid my work will start to suffer.

I think this entry is awfully random. My thoughts just aren’t coming together, but I wanted to write something so I’d remember how it felt the first week and a half I knew I was pregnant. So to sum up how it feels? Nauseating, that’s how it feels.

Yet another shameless plug

I know you all love a good gift book. And you especially love a good stimulating conversation. Well, have I got a recommendation for you.

It's a Gift Book From Hallmark! This is called Talk Show: Turn Off the TV and Tune In to Your Family. (Conversation Starter Cards for Hours of Fun.) Basically, each card has a cute, fun, silly, or thought-provoking question that is appropriate for the whole family, and they're guaranteed to get you talking and having a fantastic time. (Okay, not guaranteed in the traditional sense, I do not believe there are cash refunds associated with evenings that are less than stellar.)

Go, go buy it now! I wrote/compiled it, and even after hours spent contemplating each and every question, I would still be a consumer of this product! And if that isn't a good recommendation, I don't know what is.

Apple what?

I'm working on this book about (practically) free things for families to do together, and one of the activities describes how to make homemade applesauce. At the end of the activity, I added "Bon appetit!" And then thought it would be clever to say "Or rather, bon apple-tit!" But when I saw it typed out, I realized that apple-tit doesn't sound very family friendly.

I'm so glad it's Friday.