Tomorrow I am having vision correction surgery. I can't even believe it, really. Not LASIK, not PRK. I'm getting a phakic IOL. It's kind of like a permanent contact lens inside your eye.
I know you probably don't get it, exactly, why this is life changing. And you especially don't get it if you have good eyesight. See, I have terrible eyesight. (For those of you in the know, my fellow myopia people, I have -8.00 in my left eye and -6.00 in my right.) It's bad. Blurry. Like, can't read my bedside clock. Like, if he's sitting still, can't tell if my kid is in the room.
And suddenly, after a ten-minute procedure, I'll be able to see (out of one eye; they do them on separate days). I'm so nervous. That isn't even a strong enough word. I'm afraid I'm making a bad decision. Not sure why I think that. Maybe because it was hasty? Maybe because that's just how I roll, overanalyzing things?
Anyway, I honestly feel like my identity is changing. Kind of like how in high school, I played the violin. It was what I did, who I was. And then I went to college and didn't play, and suddenly I had to find another person to be. What kind of person will perfect-vision me be?
I clearly need to go to bed. Think of me tomorrow morning.
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1 comment:
This is a fascinating post. I hope you will post again about your post-surgery identity -- if you really turn out to feel differently than you do now.
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