Tuesday, April 29

How about a little more Baklava?

We have been slowly running out of cat litter for a couple of weeks now. Okay, we were actually out of cat litter, except for the stuff that was still in the litter box. But we didn’t hear the cats complaining, so we put off buying more. Until this weekend, when we could no longer ignore it. The cats’ pitiful meows of disdain at the dirty box were starting to get annoying.

So we made a trip to our pet store of choice and bought some litter. Then what did we do? We went home and set up our new Cat Genie (that has been sitting in its box for two weeks). Perhaps you have heard of it? The latest litter box craze sweeping the nation? Well. It does not require any actual litter, or at least the variety that we just bought. We’re smart like that. ANYWAY. We pored over the instructions, and set up all the little parts and pieces, and I kept rubbing it, but I never got any wishes (Get it? Like a genie-in-a-bottle kind of genie? And the Aladdin reference in the title? No? Just me, then?).

Let me tell you how the Cat Genie works. It hooks up to your water supply and requires a drain, and then it basically scoops up the waste and blasts it into liquid that goes down your drain. Like magic. And it uses these plastic-y washable granules that get rinsed and dried when you run the cycle. Once we got it all set up, we ran a test cycle to be sure it was hooked up properly. We wouldn’t want cat poo to go flying all over the basement or anything.

So we pressed the button, and watched the scooper hand scoop while the bowl turned around. Then we watched it fill with water and cleaning product, and then we watched it drain and start to dry. The whole thing took over thirty minutes. And let me tell you, it was the most boring thing I have ever watched. By my estimation, I lost about three years of my life, hanging out in the chilly basement, hovering over the litter box, staring into the slowly turning bowl while the drool slowly dribbled down my chin.

Now, two days later, I’m not sure if the cats have even used it. It might be a little too clean for them. They’re used to us turning their beds down at night and getting little chocolates on their pillows, but we rarely clean their bathroom. Wouldn’t them to get all uppity on us.

Thursday, April 24

Bring it on

I don't normally take these kinds of little quizzes. They're silly and senseless. But I saw this one and just had to know—just how many five-year-olds could I take in a fight? Feel free to try it for yourself. Post your results in the comments and we'll get ourselves a little contest going.

Tuesday, April 22

A Tiger, Some Dogs, and a Couple of Goats

I had such a busy weekend; it took me until tonight to manage to write about it all. Or I just didn’t feel like writing yesterday. You don’t own me, you know.

Let me start with Friday night. Andrew and I attended the annual Tiger Ball, a fundraiser for our dear ol’ alma mater, put on by the KC chapter of the alumni association. This is actually the last thing I wanted to do in the world, but Andrew’s employer was a big sponsor and got us in for free, and for reasons I still do not understand, Andrew desperately wanted to go, even though he, quite frankly, isn’t that big a fan of MU, nor does he like being pushed to give money. And on top of that, it was a “creative black tie” event. Who knows what that means, anyway? Well. Let me explain it to you. It means you wear black tie, but then make it look stupid by adding a bunch of tiger stripes. Or a basketball jersey. Or a tail. (We both got an F+ for creativity.)

BUT. It turned out to be pretty fun. And on a completely unrelated note (ahem), did I mention there was an open bar? And we got our picture taken with Truman, which I have included here for your viewing pleasure.

Sooooo glad I brought my camera.

Moving on to Saturday. Our fabulous friends Mike and Erin came to visit us and they brought their adorable puppy with them. So we got to play with a puppy. We took her to a dog park, which was a tad muddy. Also it was full of dogs. Some were a little too slobbery for my taste. Perhaps that is why we have cats?

Look! Look how tiny the puppy is! Arf arf arf!
(incidentally, this is also the photo that makes me think
my hair is too pointy. Perhaps it is time to reconsider this cut?)

Then! On Sunday, we took a Segway tour of the zoo. And it was—wait for it—awesome. Who would have thought that those nerdy things would be so fun? I totally want one. Except I have no idea where I would ever ride it. But if you ever have a chance to ride one, perhaps on one of the Segway Experience tours in KC, you should definitely do that. But be forewarned, they make you wear a helmet. The guide didn’t have to wear a helmet, which seemed unfair. Just because you’re a good bicyclist doesn’t mean you should stop wearing a helmet. Either it’s safe or unsafe, you know? But I digress. The point is, Segway = F-U-N.

We are really too cool for words, I think.

Believe it or not, those are actual kangaroos in the
background. We're not just in front of a green screen.

And as the title promised, I give you goats.

Wednesday, April 16

Cake Update

I know you’ve been waiting with bated breath to hear what the year-old wedding cake tasted like. Or not. But humor me, people.

And. Well. All things considered, it wasn’t too bad. Certainly not all Miss Havisham-like. There was a pool of sugary liquid at the bottom of the container and the icing was slowly separating from the cake. And the cake was a smidge dry, like a cake would taste if it was brought in to the office for a coworker’s retirement party and then it didn’t all get eaten at the party (because seriously, who wants cake at 9:00am? and why are all retirement parties at 9:00am anyway?) and then it sat out on the filing cabinets all day and then the next morning you didn’t have time to eat breakfast before you left the house so you stopped for coffee on the way in and then you saw the cake sitting there and you thought, hmmm, it is only 9:00am but you did skip breakfast, and your coffee would probably be even better with some cake so you decided to have a piece and try not to think about how it had been sitting on the filing cabinet overnight and yeah. It was a little dry on the edge, but still edible. (Or that's how I imagine it would be, if one were to find oneself in such a situation. Definitely not that I have ever done something like that. No no no, not me for sure. nope, no way.)

So that’s pretty much how our wedding cake tasted after a year of being in the freezer.

Tuesday, April 15

More Pictures of the Baby!

Go see! He’s more cute than ever. And look! Blond!
Click here to go to Courtney’s blog.

Monday, April 14

366 Days (leap year, people) of Wedded Bliss

Today is my very first wedding anniversary. And it is also Andrew’s wedding anniversary. I guess I’ll share this with him (but I totally get the bigger half). I’m just so stinking happy and OVERWHELMED with love and mushy mush etc. etc. It’s been the best year ever. . .

A year of coffee shops and fireplaces, of home-ownership and unbelievably high utility bills. A year of hugs and TV snuggling time. A year of new furniture and fresh paint, and of signage and books and avionics. A year of cats and relaxing on the deck. Growing up and growing together.

Andrew and I went to Columbia this weekend to celebrate our anniversary. We both went to school there and met there, so it seemed fitting to go back. We re-enacted our first date (or what we could remember of it—who could’ve known we should have been taking notes?) by going to the same restaurant and ordering the same appetizer. The weather was pretty awful. It was cold, and ice was continuously falling from the sky. It didn’t really matter, though. Andrew was all the sunshine I needed. (excuse me, I just vomited a little) Seriously, though? It would have been way better if it was sunny.

Tonight we will eat the top layer of our wedding cake, which we froze and saved for this very occasion. I hope it doesn’t taste like ass. And on that note, this entry is done. (I’ll give you an update on how the cake tasted later.)

Mmmmm, caaaaakke. . .

Friday, April 11


Finally! I have a picture of my nephew to post! And a link to Courtney’s blog, where her husband/doting dad wrote about the birth and posted a few pics. And his version seems to be more accurate than mine. Looks like maybe the time zone difference confused the story I heard. Turns out she was in labor for three hours, rather than a measly two. Pfffthhh. And I was all impressed and whatnot.

Don’t drool over the cuteness too much. I hear it’s bad for keyboards.

Welcome to the world, Austin Zachary Collins!

Thursday, April 10

I think I’ll call him Speed Racer!

Courtney had the baby! Her labor only took two hours from start to finish! Unheard of for a first child. I’m so excited! Can’t stop using exclamation marks!

Austin Zachary weighs 6 lbs, 14 oz. And I haven’t seen any pics yet, but I bet he is the cutest baby on the planet.

So much baby news for one day!

This morning, I got an email from our friends Ben and Katy that said that Katy is pregnant with not one but TWO babies! Twins! I can’t believe it. So excited for them! They are going to make super excellent parents.

And then, just a few minutes ago, I got a call from my mom with even bigger news. My sister is in labor! She’s twenty days early, so I definitely wasn’t expecting to hear any baby news. But yay! I’m going to have a little nephew very soon! Courtney has had a really great pregnancy, without any sickness or whatnot, and it looks like she’s going to have a great labor too. Her water broke at 9:00 this morning, and just a few hours later, she’s already dilated 9cm. So Austin is on his way! My mom basically began the long drive to Pennsylvania the minute she heard. She was planning to arrive there a few days before the birth so she could help out and prepare things. It’s too bad she’s going to miss the birth. I’m sure she was looking forward to being there for it. I’ll let you know when the baby arrives and post some pictures as soon as I have them.

All this baby news makes me want one. No, that’s not really accurate. I’ve had babies on my mind for awhile, and hearing about Ben and Katy just sort of reinforces how much I’d like a baby. Don’t get too excited, there’s no peeing-on-a-stick in my immediate future. Just something to look forward to (the baby part, not the peeing part).

Monday, April 7

It’s like Amazon, but free, and with a smaller selection

It is finally spring. That one long, god-forsaken ice-storm called winter seems to be over. The trees are budding, the dandelions are already popping up, and like every year, I suddenly hate all the clothes in my spring wardrobe. Oh, and it is time for spring cleaning. Except for the actual removal of dirt. We haven’t gotten to that yet.

However, Andrew and I did do some organizing. We cleaned a ton of stuff out of our closet and bagged it up for Goodwill. Decided it was finally time to let go of all those fitted tees that are actually just too small for me (remember when you had to wear a really tight T-shirt or you were horribly out of fashion? Or is that still the “thing,” but now I am just old?).

We also cleaned out our bookshelves and boxed up a bunch of books that we are ready to get rid of. Andrew checked their going rates on teh interwebs and decided that they’re not worth selling. So . . . this brings me to my point. Finally. Are you interested in any of our old books? I won’t bother listing the old college texty books we’re parting ways with, but all the fun novels and such (there are a couple of nonfiction works in there, too) are up for grabs. And I don’t even want them back, so feel free to sell them for a profit or give them away to the next person. But if I have to ship something to you, you should do something nice for me. Like . . . I don’t know. Send me a book you want to get rid of. We could turn this thing into some kind of exchange, or something.

So here is the list, in the order in which I pulled the books from the box. Sorry, no descriptions or photos (but I will occasionally write a little snarky comment). And please don’t make fun of all the chick-lit. It’s kind of an addiction. Of Andrew’s. Yes, that’s it, Andrew is really into chick-lit. I am a serious editor who only reads serious literature.

  • The Cider House Rules, by John Irving (waaaay better than the movie)
  • The Jungle by Upton Sinclair
  • Reefer Madness by Eric Schlosser (it’s even hardcover, because I just couldn’t wait to get my hands on this one)
  • Black and Blue by Anna Quindlen (even Oprah likes it)
  • Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser
  • Blackbox by Nick Walker
  • Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them by Al Franken (remember when it was cool to be Very Left?)
  • Stupid White Men by Michael Moore (did you know I used to be Very Cool?)
  • Lipstick Jungle by Candace Bushnell
  • Beloved by Toni Morrison (nice juxtaposition between this and the previous book)
  • The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger
  • The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler
  • The Deep End of the Ocean by Jacquelyn Mitchard (Oprah likes this one, too)
  • Bagombo Snuff Box by Kurt Vonnegut (this one is Andrew’s)
  • Size 12 Is Not Fat by Meg Cabot (this one is also Andrew’s)
  • The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver
  • Pigs in Heaven by Barbara Kingsolver (this follows the same story as the previous book)
  • Can You Keep a Secret? By Sophie Kinsella (British!)
  • Everyone Worth Knowing by Lauren Weisberger
  • Shopaholic & Sister by Sophie Kinsella
  • Shopaholic & Baby by Sophie Kinsella (fortunately, we’ve already given away the other Shopaholic books Andrew has read so he doesn’t have to be embarrassed by them)
  • Native Tongue by Carl Hiaasen
  • My Year of Meats by Ruth L. Ozeki
  • Sex and the City by Candace Bushnell
  • Ordinary Resurrections by Jonathan Kozol (look! serious!)
  • The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell (totally nonfiction! and not political!)
Leave a comment if you want to permanently borrow any of these books. But act fast, because I hear it's not considered cleaning if you leave the books in a pile on the floor.

Thursday, April 3

Want to hear something funny?

This is hilarious. For real. You should totally go read it. Then you’ll look like the crayzee laydee at work who can’t stop laughing to herself.