Thursday, September 1

My least favorite part of pregnancy

I'm 17 weeks pregnant. I think I have more belly at this point than I did last time (thank you, abdominals, for never returning post-first pregnancy). I've already gained something like fifteen pounds. And I just hate everything about it.

I wouldn't say I have a very positive body image when not pregnant, but I do occasionally think I look pretty good. But when pregnant, my self-esteem plummets and I basically feel bad about myself the entire time. Longer than the entire time, as I hated my post-baby body for a good six or eight months. Logically I know it's ridiculous to feel fat when pregnant. To look at my belly and genuinely wish it was flatter and less noticeable. To find myself sucking in during the day. And I see already how my hips and thighs and ass seem to be spreading out, and since this is my second time with this, I have the distinct displeasure of knowing what's to come.

With Milo, I gained about 60 pounds during pregnancy. The recommended weight gain is 25-35 pounds. I flew past that in my second trimester, probably. And it took me months and months to lose it. Not fun. I dread gaining that weight again, though of course I hope to not gain quite so much this time. I dread having to lose all that weight again. I hate the feeling that my clothes don't really fit me and that I'm not looking my best.

Add to that occasional nausea (yes, still), extremely dark circles under my eyes, flaky-yet-greasy skin, and generally being completely over-emotional at everything, and I'm a mess. At least I'm not far enough along that strangers on commenting on how huge I am yet. Can't wait for that fun to begin.

4 comments:

Mom said...

I think you're beautiful---and stylish---before, during and after being pregnant.

Emoly said...

Oh Megan Bear, you're such a pretty pregger though!

Lindsay said...

Are you kidding, woman? You look great! Don't let anyone (including yourself) or anything (including your mirror) tell you different. :)

Sheryl said...

I saw you walking in the Hallmark garage the other day... I waved, but you seemed in your own world with a big smile on your face. My thought upon seeing you? "Wow, Megan looks GREAT!" Looking forward to Tuesday :)