Noteworthy Thursday #30

Dear Baby,

Oh, I so want to call you by your name. It fits you so well, I think. Even when it's just your daddy and me talking, I still only call you by your name about half the time. I'm afraid that if I get too used to it, I'll let it slip when I'm talking to someone else. And we want it to be a surprise. Since everyone already knows you are a boy (and thanks for showing us your bits, by the way. Aunt Courtney had some trouble with your future cousin and still isn't sure whether she can expect a daughter or another son), we want to have something fun to anticipate. As if the date you show up isn't enough.

Which brings me to my main point. When do you plan to arrive, Baby? While I'm sure my womb is nice and cozy, winter is pretty much over, and the world is a lovely place. Daddy even told me that the tulips I planted last year are coming up. You don't want to miss seeing the tulips, do you? I'm pretty sure the deer will eat them in a matter of days, so better hurry! But you're too smart for that, aren't you? It isn't really about the tulips at all. I just want to meet you. (Okay, okay, I am also ready to not be pregnant anymore.)

A few days ago I had a little breakdown. "How am I going to do this?" I cried. "I have no idea how to take care of a baby." As the tears ran down my cheeks, Daddy said all the right things. He told me that of course I could do this, that I would be a great mom. He said that we have everything ready, and that we'll figure it out. And of course we will. I still feel totally and completely unprepared, but somehow that doesn't matter. I don't think I ever will be ready. You might show up tonight or tomorrow or the next day. Whenever you get here, I'll hold you and kiss you and keep you warm. It'll be like my arms were made for holding you. And nothing could possibly be any better than that.

"Ugh, Mom," I can already hear future you saying. I know, I know. I was about to get a little mushy there. Even now, as I sit here at my desk at work, I feel a little choked up just thinking about you. My whole life is about to change because of you, one tiny little seven-ish pound person. And right now, I still have no idea just how much.

I'd like to go ahead and find out, though, so if you wouldn't mind hurrying it up a bit, that would be great. Thanks.

See you soon.

Love,
Momma