What else?

When I arrived at daycare to pick Milo up this evening, I walked in to see him in the arms of one of his teachers, gripping his bottle and downing his milk. And his teacher wasn't even holding onto the bottle. And this surprised me.

I had this moment of shock and sadness. Shock, because I didn't realize that Milo could hold onto his bottle all by himself and didn't need any assistance. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised by that; after all, he can pick up tiny pieces of food and bring them to his mouth pretty well, and he holds his little pink bottle as if his life depended on it. Why shouldn't he be capable of holding his bottle? The sadness hit me when I realized how much about Milo I don't know these days. If I didn't even know that, what else don't I know? What else happens during the ten hours a day I spend away from him? Can he walk? Read? Do long-division?

On the way home, I realized something else. Even if I was a SAHM, spending all day with Milo, I'd still be nursing. I still wouldn't know whether he could hold his own bottle.

So overreacting? Maybe. But I desperately miss being the one person who knew all those little things about him, the one person who knew him better than anyone.