Friday, June 25

Hey look! A post that isn't about my preshus baybee!

WARNING: This post has absolutely nothing to do with Milo! In fact, I probably won't even mention him! Or at least not after the title! Or this!

A couple of friends (one of them being this girl, and you know she'll have good stuff) and I are having a garage sale this weekend. I've been gathering stuff to sell for weeks, and finally last night started collecting it all from its various cat-free zones around the house and putting it in the garage. It was a dirty, dusty chore.

As I carried some things through the kitchen, I felt something on my chest. Something like a bug. I looked down, but could see no bug. But OMG, you guys, I was wearing a tank top, the kind with the built-in bra, and with these glorious breastfeeding boobs, the depths of my cleavage know no bounds. I felt something again. Positive that a bug had fallen into my shirt, I started hoping that it was at least something small, like a silverfish (we have tons of those lately).

I started digging around in my tank top, and what do you know, A GIANT GROSS SPIDER SCUTTLES OUT OF MY CLEAVAGE AND ON TO MY SHOULDER. I literally shrieked and jumped around, frantically brushing my arm, trying to remove the spider without smearing it on my skin. I yelled for Andrew. By the time he came in the spider was on my belly (on the shirt, THANK GOD) and he brushed it first to my leg, then to the floor, where it began to hurry away. Andrew lifted his foot as if to step on it and squash it, but he was not wearing shoes and hesitated, foot in midair. Unfortunately, I was wearing shoes. With only a moment's hesitation, I stomped on that eight-legged terror. And let me tell you, that was the grossest squished bug I've ever seen.

So I knew I wasn't a fan of spiders and all, but I had no idea that if one were to be on me that I would freak out so much. The shrieking, the hopping, the shaking, the feeling that it is STILL THERE EVEN NOW, HOURS LATER. *shudder*

But hey! You should totally come to our garage sale! I'm a sucker and a people-pleaser, so I will probably give you a good deal.


Courtney said...

Ew. Ew. Ew.

Wish I could come to your garage sale!

Molly said...

This is kind of like the grasshopper at the A-Frames.

Kenton said...

It is true about the good deals. I still use a candy jar I bought from you for $.25 6 years ago!

Stephanie said...

In your cleavage???? OMG! I get shivers just thinking about it! Who knows what I would've done after the noises I made when the giant mosquito landed on me tonight!

See you bright and early tomorrow! (well... early for me, not so much you and Milo)