Sunday, July 6

Top Secret Porno Stash!

Today it started. Today we began turning our house Awesome. It involved some tools, and some banging, and some dust. And then some more dust. And then a little more. And maybe just a twee bit more dust. We (and by we, I mean my father-in-law, Mark, and his buddy Stan—they are the house-awesomizing guys) took the baseboards off and made the mantel disappear and took the ceiling down.


And ooh! You. Will. Not. BELIEVE whatwefoundintheceiling!!!1!! Porn! Somebody’s secret hidden stash from 1997! Three little dirty magazines. Not sure why it was hidden above the drywall. It’s not as if you could actually get to it from there. I guess the previous owner really didn’t want anyone to discover his little pornographic secret. What makes this even better, though, is that the previous owner actually lives next door to us now (his wife used to be just the pretty girl next door until he, you know, married her and moved next door). I’ll have to refrain from asking him whether 1997 was an unusually "hot" year, or whether he really "felt the excitement" that year.

But enough words. I give you pictures!

The empty room, pre-awesome.
A nice room, yes, but just you wait until it's all done.

Let's see . . . two tables, nine chairs,
a sectional couch in two sections,
and an upside-down coffee table . . .
Do you think this is too much furniture for one room?

Gary wishes she was inside with all
the action, but nope, she was out of luck.
We're mean like that.

Fat kitteh is not sure she lieks what is going on here
but can she has fud now pls? kthxbai.

No more mantel! No more ceiling fan!

Faux beams! Almost gone!
(And the first specks of dust appear on my camera's lens.)

No, it wasn't snowing in there. That is just how much
dust there is when you take a ceiling down.
And at this point, we were just getting started.


For your pleasure: the ceiling porn. I can't make this stuff up.


Isn't my husband just the coolest?

3 comments:

Emoly said...

You've been tagged m'dear.

And I am very excited about your renovations. Please post pictures often. I hardly get to watch any HGTV anymore.

Kenton said...

So Emily said something to me last night like, "They start the renovations". She failed to say the found PORN! Best story that I will hear today. I should just go to bed.

autoautistic said...

I think that this post title is going to lead to a huge increase in site traffic. And a lot of disappointed dungeonmasters. Unless they have a thing for Bob Vila.