Because I wouldn’t want you to worry.

It’s finally here. My family vaca to Florida. If you want to get all technical about it, the rest of the fam is already there. Some of us don’t have unlimited PTO, so we had to cut our portion of the trip down a bit. But still! Hooray for five days in sunny Siesta Key!

I hear the internet hasn’t made it to Florida yet, so don’t look for any updates. But I promise that as soon as we’re back (within a week, for sure) I’ll tell you all about it.

While we’re there, Andrew, my sister, and my brother-in-law are planning to go parasailing. Why am I not going? Let me tell you a little story. Let’s call it Oversharing: the Parasailing Edition.

A few years ago, my family and I were vacationing at a beachy-type place, and my sister and I decided to go parasailing. It sounded so awesome, floating in the air with nothing holding you up except a colorful parachute. So we got reservations and whatnot. Now, you should know that the boat with the parachute has to stay in motion so as not to tangle up the cords. That means that to get to that boat, you have to take another smaller boat out to it, then climb aboard WHILE BOTH BOATS ARE IN MOTION. I am not even kidding. I felt like such a stunt-girl badass. That is, when I wasn’t freaking out about falling into the sea and being squished between two moving boats.

Anyway, that small boat we had to board initially was tiny. And tiny boats moving quickly across wavy oceans means lots of up and down and rocking back and forth. And that makes Megan very nauseous. By the time we were on the larger, parasailing boat, I was feeling pretty terrible. When it was my turn to take to the skies, I told them that I didn’t want to go up because I was feeling sick. They said, aww, no! You’re fine! It’s so smooth up there! Go ahead, go on up! And don’t forget, if you need to come back down, just swing your legs, and we’ll pull you back down!

And since I didn’t want to regret not trying it, I went on up. Reluctantly. And I have to admit, it was pretty cool. Very quiet, and I could see for miles around.

But then the queasiness. Oh, the seasicky feeling. It was not good. I began swinging my legs like a crazy person. But. They. Would. Not. Bring. Me. Back. Down.

And then I vomited. The End.